The Journal Entries

Polly found herself in a bar as far away from her command as she could physically reach, the very last bar at the rear of the Einstein's Canvas. The bartender, a nice enough masc Felinzi who spent a lot of time polishing glasses and tumblers, gave her a concerned glance when she gestured for another whiskey then poured it anyway. The shot followed a well-scorched trail down into her gut, failing along the way to have any effect at all on her reasons for coming to this dive in the first place.

Not that it was a dive after all. 10-Backward was run by two Pendorians who had decorated it in dark crude woods, semi-transparent "windows" stained with something brown and oily, framed mirrors proclaiming the names of drinks Polly had never before heard, and a "jukebox" playing music about women losing their boyfriends and men losing their wives, their trucks, their dogs, and their farms. The language was neither Quen nor Francaise but Terran English and the stylish eyeglasses she now wore had translated when she asked. The Pendorians had offered everyone a pair.

A hand touched her shoulder. "Don't you think you're overdoing the little lost soldier bit, Lieutenant San Tarvo?"

Polly turned around to look at that hand and accompanying arm. Her eyes refused to focus for a moment on the hazy shape at the other end. Finally, a blink or two later, it resolved into Ilonca Thavas, steward to the Ambassador, Minervan, and her former roommate's girlfriend. "Nope." She gestured at her watch. "'M not on any duty at all for at least eighteen hours. Plenty of time. 'Sides, anyone gets hurt, the Pendorians know how to put 'em back together. Look at, at Rhiane."

"That's not what I mean. Rhiane sent me down here. She's worried about you."

"Little late for that."

"No, it's not too late for that," Ilonca said gently. "Come on, Lieutenant, let's get you cleaned up."

"Are you ordering me, Lieutenant?"

"Guess I can't order you, can I?" Ilonca leaned down. "Look, I know this has been rough on you. I know all about your crush on Rhiane. I know all about your breakups with Khrystyne and now Emiliose. I don't care what the Pendorians say, you can't do your duty to the Free Worlds with a hangover."

As much as Polly would rather have denied it, Ilonca was wrong about one thing and right about another. Ilonca was part of the ambassadorial staff and probably could order her, despite that rank. It was like that of the even more significant Rhiane, whose rank was kept artificially low for political reasons. And Polly really could not function well with a hangover. "'Kay. Take me home."

Ilonca hefted an arm around Polly's shoulders and pulled her out of the seat. "Whoa," Polly said as she tried to get vertical.

"She's had more than a bit," the bartender said, speaking perfect Francaise as he did so. "You might want some help getting her home, mademoiselle."

"We'll manage," Ilonca said. "Thia will help. Please?"

Polly nodded, her hair wavering in her face. She should cut it. It was bad discipline for her to leave it like that, wasn't it? Not that she much cared about it. "Maybe I need a girlfriend."

"Maybe you need some time after the last two," Ilonca said.

"Y's. Should never put two Y's together. Doesn't work. 'S broken. Should be X and Y, and that's about it. Boys and girls." She looked down the front of her dress.

"Now, who's being sexist. Don't make me report you, Lieutenant."

"For havin' a opinion?"

"For voicing one that the service looks down on," Ilonca said. "Besides, I'm an X and I'm in love with an X. Is that broken?"

Polly shook her head. "I'm jealous. You got her. She loves you." Polly turned away. "The way Spartans aren't allowed..."

"We're not on Sparta, Polly. Rhiane and I are free spirits," Ilonca said. "We're are doing just what we want. Right now, we want to be together.

Polly shuffled along the corridor, her stomach complaining about the alcohol. The Pendorians seemed to be able to drink too much of the stuff without getting this way. They were different, she knew. Had all that stuff inside them. "Sugar. Could burn alcohol like a sugar. Knew it." She looked up at Ilonca. "This mission's gonna make me fat."

"X or Y, we all get fat the same way."

They SDisked to the borders of the Free Worlds Autonomous Zone. Polly fumbled for her card but the guard at the border just waved them through and let them go. Ilonca hauled Polly down several more corridors and then opened a door. Polly said, "Whassis?"

"My cabin. Rhiane's is right next door." She tapped on the wall. "Thia, tell Rhiane we're here."

"Will do," said the soothing voice of the AI.

Ilonca helped Polly across the room to the bed, then dropped her to the mattress, guiding her. "You're not going to throw up on me, are you?"

"Hope not," Polly said. She raised her hand to her forehead, forgot why, then dropped it to the bed. "I hate being a Y."

"Why?"

"Because... because I'm all fucked up with the being a Y and being a girl and bein' a Spartan. Because I've gotta dick and I wanna put it into someone, but I'm carryin' around all these ideas about, about... shit, it's hard to put into words. Because I want children and to be mothering and protective and worried and all that crap, and I want to be a protector and a warrior and an aggressive bitch and all that too. And I want it to myself! It's like... feelin' guilty for being male, and having all the hormones that make me feel like a girl. Sterling was one fucked up bitch."

Ilonca laid down on her belly next to her. "Do you always feel this way?"

Polly thought. It was hard. Her head felt stuffed as if someone had replaced her brains with depleted uranium. "Nah. Just recent. I guess."

"Maybe you should have a doctor look at you. Could be the first signs of organic depression."

"Maybe." Polly looked up at the sheet of canvas that stretched across the four posters of Ilonca's bed. Her hand caressed the comforter. Her voice softened by envy, she said, "You... You and Rhiane have done it. Here."

Ilonca should have blushed. That was proper, after all, and Ilonca's job was to be demure and proper, to represent the traditions of her Service. Instead, she just said, "The first time we did it was in here."

Polly tried to imagine it. She felt a warmth spread through her as she did, trying to picture that black-haired, snaggletoothed, mysterious girl and this blond beauty doing things. "What do you do?"

"I think we'll wait for Rhiane to show up," Ilonca said. "She said she'd be right over." On cue, the door opened and Rhiane walked in, looking a bit confused and out of place, but her eyes adjusted to the light and she glided over to the bed as if she had been here all her life. Maybe she had, Polly thought. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hey, roomie," Polly said, waving. "Ex-roomie. Whee."

"Is she drunk?"

"Very," Polly said, and then she giggled.

"I've never been very drunk," Rhiane said. "I wonder what it's like."

"Ask a glass of scotch," Polly said. The giggling continued. Then she jerked her head up. "Prophet! The first time you did it was in here? What took you so fucking long?"

Rhiane did blush. Ilonca spread her hands defensively. Rhiane said, "Well, I died, for one thing. It took a while to recover from that. And before that we weren't sure what we wanted to do." She sat down next to Polly.

Polly's stomach rocked out of rhythm with the rest of her body. It was not a pleasant sensation. She needed something to keep her mind off its complaints. "What did you bring me here for, anyway?"

Ilonca said, "Well, we had other plans when I asked Thia where you were, but I guess right now it's a rescue mission to keep you from showing up on Tempany's or Commander San Txema's radar. You're a mess, Lieutenant, in a way that lieutenants aren't supposed to be. So we're trying to save your career at this point."

"Gee, fucking thanks."

"Our pleasure."

"What were your other plans?"

"When you're sober," Ilonca said, patting her on the arm.

"No, now," Polly said. "Or let me go back to my cabin to sleep this off and take a few hangover remedies."

Ilonca looked up at Rhiane. Rhiane looked thoughtful for a second, then nodded. "Rhiane still likes you, Polly, and she's curious about what it's like with a Y. So, I thought, why not? I don't have a leash on Rhiane and I'm better at arranging these things than she is, so I thought I'd play matchmaker and help you both satisfy your curiosities."

Rhiane's face blushed so brightly it could have been used as a distance beacon for non-instrumental landings. Polly groaned, "You guys are serious, aren't you? I thought I was crazy. I always knew Minervans were perverted like Pendorians. Thavas, thassa Minerva name, right? I don't think... I mean... I was kinda hoping for something more with Rhiane. Then you got in the way. I blew my chance. This isn't fair. Besides..."

Rhiane put her hand on Polly's arm. "I blew my chance, too," she said. "I got another one. My life is full of second chances these days. I do like you Polly. I'm a little busy right now with Ilonca, but... I don't know. It's not like this is a life thing. Ilonca and I aren't sure we want to raise each other's babies and all that. And with the Pendorians coming, it's all kinda different now anyway."

Polly nodded. A massive clamp closed about her skull and squeezed down. "I think I want those hangover pills right about now."

Rhiane reached over the nighttable and returned with a liter and a half of water in a squeeze bottle. Polly took it gratefully and drank down as much of it as she could with long draws on the straw. She felt a little better, but she was still drunk, and it still bothered her. And now this on top of it all. Images of her and Rhiane nuzzled together, locked together, X and Y, their breasts mashing, their lips-- She said, "I'll do it."

"You're drunk, Polly. You need to sleep off the alcohol before you make that choice," Ilonca said.

"No, I'll do it. Shit, I'd do it with both of you there, although I think I'd want to go out with Rhiane first. One condition."

"What's that?"

She looked up at Rhiane. "You need to kiss me."

"Now?" Rhiane said.

"No, dummy. Then!"

Rhiane leaned over and tentatively kissed Polly on the cheek. "Of course I'll kiss you. But not right now. Whew. I think I could get drunk just smelling you." She waved a hand past her nose for emphasis.

"Come on," Ilonca said, pulling on Polly's shoulders. "Let's get you to bed." Polly let Ilonca haul her into a sitting position. After the water, she didn't feel quite so horrible as before, but the ache was still there in the back of her head and her eyes felt like they'd been hardened in vinegar. She wanted to sleep for a day. She had duty in sixteen hours. She let Ilonca help her down the hallway and around the corner to her own room.

Ilonca didn't say a word about the boring, undecorated bedroom as she lay Polly down onto the bed, taking off her coat and identity badge and the knotted scarf of her rank. She drew a blanket over Polly and left.

---

Rhiane sat at a table at the Pendorian cafe she and Polly had chosen for their meeting. She nervously tapped the edge of the thin wafer that was her embassy computer. Polly wondered why she even bothered having it when the Pendorians could probably crack through its protections in a matter of seconds. She didn't think the Pendorians had done so because they had peculiar but respectable ideas about the integrity of someone's thought processes (and they were weirdly explicit about considering the laptop part of Rhiane's thought processes) but they had the power. If the higher-ups believed that of the Pendorians then the cryptoboxes were just there to keep other Free Worlders from snooping.

She adjusted her jacket and walked up to the table. "Rhiane?"

"Polly?" Rhiane stood up. She slipped the computer into her purse, a black thing that the Navy would definitely have approved, if they approved such things. Polly was quite sure that somewhere in the Navy's great maze of dress codes there was a list of what would be acceptable in handbags. In keeping with the current swing of fashions back on her homeworld she didn't carry one.

Rhiane looked wonderful, if a bit simple. A black tank-top over which she wore a black off-the-shoulder poncho that did little to hide how pretty she was, blue jeans and ordinary sneakers. Her hair was cropped military short as always but someone had thought to put a little gel into it, causing it to stand up and look tended-to. Cared about. That was probably Ilonca's doing. Someone had to care about Rhiane's appearance. Caring about her looks was not in Rhiane's repertoire. "You look wonderful," Rhiane said.

"Thanks. So do you," Polly said. "Well, you called this date. What do you want to do?"

Rhiane stopped. "That's... I mean... I was thinking about window shopping and maybe a movie. There's the other cafe, the Black Cat. At the end, down there. I thought maybe we could wind up there." She pointed down the long concourse that the Pendorians had put aside as their "shopping and dining" district. They actually called it that, despite any visible lack of money changing hands. It was more like an excessively dramatic provisioning and mess center.

"Sounds good to me," Polly said.

As they wandered Polly tried to keep up her end of the conversation but ran out of things to talk about after they'd finished catching each other up on their respective missions. They tried to talk music, but when they'd been roommates that hadn't worked anyway: Polly liked jazz and Rhiane had a taste for obscure guitar bands without lyricists. The same was mostly true about everything else in their lives. Even lovers.

Rhiane wandered from store to store. "I haven't considered taking the Pendorians up on their offers. I can't really take anything I want?"

They were standing in a store that had women's clothing. "Why not?" said a femHuman who was standing nearby. From her outfit and her posture, Polly imagined she ran this particular outlet.

"I haven't given you anything in exchange for it," Rhiane said.

The woman pulled a padd off a clip on her belt. "You're with the Free Worlds. You have an account that grants you more than enough funds to keep yourselves clothed, housed, and fed for the entire trip. If you want something, take it." She gestured to the racks of pants and other clothes. "Take this, for example. It was designed by Terran designer Artabanus about four hundred years ago, but the style is just now coming back into vogue. See how it seems all big and flowery, as if you'd fall right out of it, but of course you won't. It does an excellent job of hinting about the body without showing it. And see how the hems and the sleeves are all patterned with these triangular ripples? They suggest that there's a way to get in and see the rest of you. Very sexy right now. This season's fashion is all about hinting what you might be able to get to see it, rather than flaunting it. Most appropriate for a woman from Athena or Minerva. It even goes from the shoulders to the knees, so it would also be appropriate for a Spartan."

Polly immediately grasped the significance of the outfit. "Oh, Rhiane, please wear it."

"Me?" Rhiane said. "Why?"

"Trust me."

The saleswoman stepped in. "Oh, my dear, if you want to wear this, with that hair and skin you need these colors over here." The dress was a dark blue, the highlights bright silver. "See? Just right for your bright skin. And your black hair will lead the eyes down to the hem. Perfect." She smiled.

Rhiane looked over at Polly, who nodded. "I'll try anything once." She took the dress offered and disappeared into the changing room.

When she stepped out five minutes later, Polly felt her cock twitch. The dress worked on Rhiane. She looked wonderful, with the full blousy sleeves big enough to suggest to Polly's testosterone-operated brain that she could crawl right up there and get at Rhiane's breasts, her belly, and lower. She shook her head. "You'll take it."

"I will?" Rhiane asked.

The outfit showed more of Rhiane's skin than most Spartan women would have found comfortable (the shopkeeper apparently took the Spartan adage about shoulders and knees too literally) but Athenians tended to be less conservative, and Polly had spent months on Athens getting used to the look. She said, "Yes, you will. I don't know how Ilonca will see you in that, but I know what I see. You're hot."

Rhiane smiled at her, showing that one misaligned canine that Polly thought was cute. "I'm glad you think so." The shopkeeper made murmuring noises of approval and tried to hustle them for a pair of shoes, but with their prize in hand Rhiane and Polly guiltily made their way back out to the mall.

The cafe' at the end of the mall was small and comforting, with walls done in a earthy clay-yellow and stained wood chairs with wicker backs. The smell of fresh-made cake and the scent of roasting coffee wafted over Polly. They sat down at a table too small for even two with fresh teas and cakes. Polly could not ease the wound-up feeling in her stomach.

Rhiane said, "Polly? How's that cake?"

"Very, um, strawberry." She took another bite. "How about that?" She pointed.

"Chocolately all the way through," Rhiane said, grinning. "Polly, are you enjoying yourself?"

Polly nodded her head. "I think so."

"I was only your roommate for a few months," Rhiane said. "We don't have to, um, that is--"

Polly daringly stroked Rhiane's arm with her hand. "I'd like to."

Rhiane looked away. "That's just it."

"What?"

"I never realized how many people would 'like to'. It feels so weird, this whole world Ilonca's shown me, where people tell me they think I'm sexy. Do you really think I'm sexy?"

Polly nodded. "Yeah. You are. Especially when you bother to dress up in something that's made to make you pretty, not just dressed."

Rhiane smiled wide. She held it a few seconds too long. "I just wish I knew what to do with this sexiness."

Polly knew what to do. She leaned close to Rhiane, put a finger under her chin, and led her mouth close. "Everything you can." Then she kissed her, a soft closed kiss, lips to warm lips. The Pendorians wouldn't care, and there were no Sterlings around to see. Polly thought that even in her limited experience it was one of the nicest kisses she had ever felt.

Rhiane sat back, her eyes wide, her hands on the table trembling slightly. "You're the second person who's ever kissed me like that. Or maybe the first, if we count that kiss you gave me the day I left. I don't know what to do next."

Polly blushed. "Rhiane, I... I'm not as new as you are but I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I haven't kissed that many girls either. I barely know what I'm doing. Let's go to your room and figure out what to do next."

"Why my room?"

Polly sighed. "Because my room is boring. I haven't decorated or anything. If your room is anything like Ilonca's..."

Rhiane smiled. "Not nearly. She's really very strong, Ilonca. She wants things to be her way or no way."

"That's why she's a steward. Her job is to keep the Ambassador's body and reputation in the best shape possible." Polly rose and offered her hand to Rhiane. Rhiane took it, and the two women walked out of the cafe', Rhiane carrying the bag of clothes they had taken earlier. It was a long walk walk back to Sterling Country. They had to pass the Autonomous Zone border guards who eyed them both and Polly smiled to see how appreciatively the tall one tracked Rhiane's figure as the went by. Polly knew a Y when she met one.

They made it into Rhiane's room. It was not nearly as decorate as Ilonca's had been but it wasn't bare. There were paintings on the walls, the coverlet on the bed was definitely not military, the lamps by the bed had been replaced with calming green halflamps befitting a mathematician. The door closed behind her. She grabbed Rhiane by one arm, turned her around, and kissed her, this time with her mouth open.

Rhiane reacted the way she had hoped: surprised at first, then enthusiastic, her own mouth taking on Polly's in a kiss that made Polly's knees buckle and her cock harden. She wanted to get inside Rhiane now. She knew that was the testosterone talking and she didn't care. Their breasts mashed together through the fabric of their blouses. Polly could feel Rhiane's nipples harden. Her own reacted just the same way.

"Goddess, I want you," Polly breathed.

Rhiane blushed. "I..."

Polly took a Rhiane's delicate hand in her own and led Rhiane to stand by the bed, then took the other girl in her arms and kissed her again. Rhiane still seemed uptight, uncomfortable, and her tension increased as Polly unbuttoned the back of her dress, one button at a time, until the dress began to fall open at the shoulders. "Polly..."

"Am I too fast?"

Rhiane nodded. "I want this, but, I don't know how to get it. I need..."

"You're an... you're a girl. A girly girl." Polly smiled. "Trust me, Rhiane. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I-- I do. I just, my body needs something more."

"Then let's have more." Polly sat down on the bed, pausing to adjust the painful erection under her skirt. She needed to get her cock out into the open. She needed to control herself or she'd frighten Rhiane too much. In the back of her lizard brain the immature and underappreciated maleness that lived in every Y was screaming at her to take Rhiane now. She knew better. "Come here." She indicated a portion of the bed next to her. "Sit."

Rhiane did as Polly indicated. "Close your eyes. You trust me, don't you?"

Rhiane nodded. "I... I do."

"Shhh." Polly reached up behind Rhiane and stroked her back, gently caressing her shoulders. Rhiane sighed, but her back remained tense and straight as Polly rubbed at them. But she was comfortable enough that Polly kept rubbing, trying to ease the tension out of them.

Eventually, Rhiane's shoulders let go, exposing more of her neck. Polly leaned over and kissed that neck tentatively. Rhiane gasped but did not hunch up and Polly took advantage of the room Rhiane left to keep kissing and nibbling. Her shoulders began to tense up again. Polly backed off, kept rubbing. Rhiane kept her head up and pointed forward and it was not until some time had passed that Polly stopped looking at Rhiane's neck and realized that Rhiane was staring in a mirror, looking at the two of them. Polly, with her dark curls kept short and her brown eyes and her ordinary nose, and Rhiane, her elegant face hidden behind those nerdy librarian glasses, staring, watching. Polly shook her head in mock despair, then lowered her mouth to Rhiane's shoulder and kissed her again.

Rhiane turned her head to Polly and looked up, then kissed the other woman. Polly felt Rhiane's lips against her own and did her own dance of tensing up and then relaxing. She hadn't expected Rhiane to be quite so willing so soon. But then their mouths were open-- Polly wasn't sure who had started-- and their kiss became sloppy wet. There was still a tautness to Rhiane's moves that Polly could understand.

Then Rhiane's hand was inside her shirt, touching her belly, sliding up to her breasts as far as the fabric would let her. Polly's desire soared, expressed in a moan. She was supposed to be in charge, she was supposed to be taking the initiative. She couldn't imagine her old roommate, the quiet studious Rhiane, reaching for her in this way.

She was and Polly was not about to stop her. She reached over to Rhiane and undid the buttons on the shirt. Rhiane paused long enough to shrug it off, her breasts barely restrained by her bra, then her fingers were working off Polly's buttons, knocking them off one by one until it was Polly's turn to shrug out of her shirt.

Rhiane's touch on her skin was tentative. "I saw you naked a few times when we were roommates," she said. "And I never... I envied you. You and your Y-ness. I knew that all of your girlfriends were Ys. I came by the bedroom one night and heard you and someone else. I could hear noises. And voices."

"I'm sorry."

Rhiane shook her head. "It's not your fault I was lonely. Am lonely."

"Not anymore! You've got Ilonca and me, right?"

"Do I?" Rhiane looked up into Polly's eyes. "I don't know what I have. Ilonca says she's crazy about me, but... "

Polly placed her hands on Rhiane's cheeks and kissed her mouth hard. "You have to learn to trust us when we say we like you, Rhiane."

"I know." She smiled and kissed Polly gently.

Polly returned the kiss with as much caution as she could find. She was as frightened as Rhiane, in her own way, fearful of wrecking this second chance. She was good at that, she thought, wrecking second chances. She reached up behind Rhiane and unhooked the plain, white bra that the other girl wore with a simple gesture that made Rhiane giggle. "You're good at that."

"Ys practice," Polly said. "We're driven to."

"Just Ys? I bet there are Xs who can do it just as well as you can."

"No doubt," Polly said. "Do you want to practice?" She held up her arms and pushed her shoulders back. Rhiane reached behind her and found the clasp. Polly could feel her fumbling. "Try to imagine what one looks like when you're putting it on."

"But that's behind my back," Rhiane said.

"So?"

Rhiane's hand turned and Polly felt the elastic give way. "Got it," Rhiane said as she pulled the bra down Polly's arm. They both shrugged to get out of them and tossed them together onto the floor. Rhiane looked at Polly, and the both of them giggled together. Polly felt her cock grow hard looking at Rhiane's small, symmetrical breasts, and she wondered if she would really get a chance to fuck Rhiane. It was something she had rarely imagined, but she had once or twice back when they had been roommates. She pulled Rhiane to her and the two of them tumbled back onto the bed, Rhiane on top, kissing her. The kisses lasted, and changed, and lasted longer. "You must be one of the most patient Ys in the world," Rhiane whispered. "You haven't done much past kissing."

"I like kissing," Polly said. "And I don't want to scare you off."

"Thanks," Rhiane said. "I don't think I'm scared, now."

Polly turned the two of them over until Rhiane was underneath, their legs still dangling off the edge of the bed. "Are you now?"

"Are you going to stop?"

"No."

"Then I'm not afraid."

She said it so simply that Polly felt her cock harden further. She reached down to Rhiane's skirt and opened it, then pulled down the zipper. "Off," she said. Rhiane lifted her butt enough to get the skirt down her thighs and then Polly stripped it the rest of the way off with a single tug. Rhiane lay on the bed in only her panties, watching Polly with the kind of anticipation a deer held for a lion. Polly gave her a wink, then plied her hand along Rhiane's thighs and up over the white cotton. "You're wet," she said.

"I wanted to be, for you."

Polly leaned down. "You smell good." She kissed Rhiane's thighs, then further in. Small, dark curls peeked out from the elastic that encircled each of Rhiane's thighs, and Polly felt her head lighten at the thought of getting her mouth down there. Kissing her way up to Rhiane's pussy, she pressed her mouth to the cotton, inhaling deeply the scent that had soaked through the thin cloth. "Prophet, you smell good." She hooked a finger under one of the openings and pulled it aside, exposing a dark tangle of pubic hair and a peek of pink lips and pale flesh.

"Polly..."

"Rhiane?"

"Yes." Polly smiled and kissed those curls, parting them with her tongue. It had been a while since she had done with an X but she hadn't forgotten how. She kissed Rhiane's intimate places and slipped her tongue between those lips until Rhiane's pussy was open to her mouth and then she began licking Rhiane in earnest, extracting the precious girlish liquids that were the sweet province of Xs. She lapped at them, her tongue finding its way to Rhiane's clit and licking at the little jut of white flesh. "Softer!" Rhiane said, and Polly eased off. She eagerly sucked on the sweet, pink skin of Rhiane's inner labia and kissed her way through the tangle of flesh, always coming back to circle gently at Rhiane's clitoris.

Rhiane's hands crawled on the bed until she sent them into Polly's hair, holding the other woman down to her pussy. "Yes, Goddess, yes," Rhiane moaned as Polly licked and licked. Polly knew she had found the rhythm that fired Rhiane. It was more than she could have wished. She had no idea that she could be quite so effective with an X. It was a fear all Ys had: we don't really understand Xs. She felt she understood what Rhiane wanted and she was determined to give it.

Rhiane's body tensed downwards, pushing her butt into the bed until she came with a low, aching moan that Polly felt in her heart. She eased up, unsure if Rhiane was one of those who could come twice in rapid succession and unwilling to experiment. Instead, she raised her head and looked along the length of the heaving girl. Rhiane looked up, and gestured. "Come here."

Polly slid up Rhiane's body and came to rest atop her, her thigh getting wet against Rhiane's soaking pussy. "You're still wearing your skirt."

"I didn't need it off to kiss you."

Rhiane smiled. "Take it off now. Please?"

Polly rolled onto her ass and pulled down the skirt, kicking it and her panties off in one move. Rhiane watched her, her eyes flickering down to Polly's crotch. "Oh."

"Oh, that's right. You've never seen a Y naked before, have you?"

"Not out of health class," Rhiane said, blushing. "Is that it?" She giggled. "Sorry." She leaned down to look closer. "Is it... it looks big."

Polly blushed, then nodded. "I guess. I don't know if anyone's collected statistics. But... I've been with a few Ys and I've always been bigger than any of them. They always say I'm bigger than any they've ever seen." She batted at it.

Rhiane regarded Polly's cock. "Polly, what do you taste like?"

Before Polly could answer with her voice, Rhiane leaned down and licked the head of her cock. "Tastes like... skin." She opened her mouth and engulfed the head of it. Polly moaned.

Rhiane lifted off. "You taste pretty good. I thought it was supposed to be bitter."

"It gets more bitter the longer you go."

"But it starts like this? Kinda sweet, and salty?" She licked at Polly's cock and Polly nodded, the tickling ecstasy of a mouth about her cock distracting her from saying anything more. Rhiane used her hand on the part she couldn't fit into her mouth. She didn't give any rhythm, but Polly leaned back and enjoyed it all the same.

Rhiane let go, and looked up at Polly. "If I keep going, you won't be able to, you know... do intercourse, right?"

Polly giggled. "You're such a nerd, Rhiane."

A wince crossed Rhiane's face, then a smile. "Have you ever said it that way, Polly? With another Y?" She sat up and faced Polly close. "Have you ever said 'fuck me' to someone?"

Polly stared at her. "Yes." It was hard to admit it. Sodomy was rare among Ys, still tried and accepted, still something that Xs thought peculiar. "Yes I have. Once. I didn't really like it."

"You're a Y. I guess it's different that way." Rhiane's eyes met Polly's. "Polly, would you... " She stopped. "Would you make love to me?"

Polly kissed Rhiane, guiding her head back down to the pillows. "Yes, Rhiane, I'll make love to you." She pushed Rhiane's legs apart, opening those pink gates. "If that's what you want."

"Yes," Rhiane whispered. "Yes."

Polly's cock found its opening and, guided by Rhiane's wetness and spit, slipped in. Goddess, but Rhiane was tight in a way she had not anticipated, tight along the entire length of Polly's cock, tight from the second she entered until the moment the root of her cock hit bottom. "Oh, Rhiane."

Rhiane's eyes were closed, her mouth open. She was barely breathing. "Oh, Goddess, what have I been missing all this time?"

"Just cock," Polly said. She kissed Rhiane's chin, and then she began slow strokes. Goddess, she was going to come too fast like this. Rhiane had her too wound up, she was too tight, it was all too much. "Otherwise, we're all the same."

"No," Rhiane said, grasping Polly by the forearms. "Not just that. It's something else, something better! Please, dear Goddess, Polly, fuck me, fuck me harder." Polly tried to give Rhiane what she asked for, but she felt curiously detached from the process, as if she were standing back and monitoring this body that was doing all the work. She made love to Rhiane's body mechanically, and when she came it was with a small protest that it had ended too soon, before she could get into the act herself.

When it was over, she lay down on the bed on her back next to Rhiane to pant and catch her breath. Rhiane was crying. "Polly?" she asked, leaning over the other girl. "You okay?"

"I was going to ask the same thing of you," Polly said, brushing away a tear from Rhiane's cheek. "I never wanted to do something that would make you cry, roomie."

It was so... different. I mean, did you feel that?"

Polly nodded. "Kinda."

"I guess you've done this before." Rhiane sounded a little disappointed.

"No, that's not it. Not often. I... " For some reason she couldn't bring herself to confess that Rhiane had only been her second X, and the first hadn't been all that great either. She pulled Rhiane down and kissed her, and in the kiss she found the passion she had been looking for during intercourse. "I like you, Rhiane. I liked you when we were roommates. So much that I don't want you to be unhappy. And I tried to do this right, but... I didn't want to fuck someone else's girlfriend. I kinda wanted you to be mine."

Rhiane sighed and laid down next to her. "I'm sorry, Polly. I understand. But Ilonca and I are working. Really well. And..."

"That's what I mean," Polly said. She turned over onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "It's still not fair. I got to make love to you and I still don't get to have you."

"Would you have felt better if I cheated on Ilonca with you?"

"At least then I wouldn't know before we started that it was hopeless."

Rhiane looked away. "I wish it wasn't."

"Can I ask your girlfriend about making this a regular thing?" Polly asked.

Rhiane reached down between her legs and dipped her fingers between her vulval lips,then brought one finger to her mouth. She made a face. "It actually feels good. It tastes terrible, though."

Polly nodded. "Semen often does."

"Even with mascs?"

"How would I know?"

Rhiane kissed Polly's neck, then her chest, then played with one breast gently. Polly felt soft shivers as Rhiane teased one nipple back into a wrinkled engorgement. "I'm glad you were my first Y, Polly."

"I'm glad I could be your first Y. I just wish that I had been better than that." She bit on her lower lip. "I feel like I didn't give it my all."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. In a way, I guess I'm glad. I wouldn't be tempted to ask you to choose between Ilonca and me."

"If Ilonca forces me to make that choice, she isn't the woman I'm dating. The woman I'm dating is an illusion."

"But if you were to lose Ilonca over me... you'd be unhappy with me, too, wouldn't you?"

Rhiane nodded. "But it won't be your fault. I think I can keep those two ideas separate. Other people can, can't they?"

"Not as well as you think," Polly said.

"I think I could," Rhiane said. She snuggled up against Polly. "Thanks again."

Polly kissed Rhiane's hair gently. "You're so welcome."