The Journal Entries

I had spent the day in my cabin working and feeling extremely frustrated. I had been trying to work on a simple behavior sequence but my mind kept wandering. It was like I still couldn't concentrate on what I wanted to do, or wanted the genes to express in the people who would have to live with them. It was almost like I didn't care-- a difficult mindset to live with when you're dealing with people's lives.

And I couldn't get Tylia out of my head. That annoying little monster had left me video email and although she hadn't done anything blatantly pornographic she had surely dropped enough hints to drive me to distraction. Certainly it couldn't stop me from conjuring up images that might have made her Uncia step-parents think less highly of me. I decided it was time to head to sleep.

P'nyssa was already snuggled under the covers as I joined her and snuggled close to her. I couldn't get the images, the erotic flashes of Tylia, out of my head as I held her. My cock was hard as stone and I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to masturbate, but I also wanted to sleep. And I didn't want to do anything that would wake up P'nyssa.

"Too late," she grumbled. "You're putting out so much frustration you could wake the dead."

"I'm psychically dead already," I pointed out to her.

"Yeah, but that doesn't stop you from being annoying to those of us who aren't." She turned over. "Can I help you get to sleep?" Her voice took on the rich, husky tone suggestive of lust.

I sighed. Normally, I would have taken to her suggestion as readily as a cat to sleep, but for some reason that felt part of the bundle of frustration. I couldn't bring myself to even think about lovemaking.

"Roll over," P'nyssa said, interrupting my thought.

"What?"

"Roll over. On your belly."

I did as she suggested, stretching out onto the bed and crossing my arms under my head. She straddled my hips and leaned down, her mittens stroking my back gently. I sighed deeply as the warmth of her mittens started sinking into my skin; I could feel her telepathy working on me as well, probing my body for the tight joints (you don't need telepathy to do good massage, but it can't hurt!) . The tension in my shoulders began to unwind. It felt odd-- like I was a spring unwinding violently, but this spring was wound so tight that even at the speed of light it would take forever for the tension to go away. I hadn't realized just how stressed out I was. It really bothered me.

"Shhh." P'nyssa whispered. "You need to learn how to relax again, Ken, You've been working too hard." She giggled. "Maybe another session with Cordelia would help you."

"Maybe," I said with a smile. Her mittens pressed down along my lower back, pushing in as hard as she could manage (which wasn't very hard; Tindal mittens are not terribly strong). At times she would locate spots that were particularly painful-- under the shoulderblades, or at the base of the neck-- and the release there would be so great I would moan with relief, but she could revisit those spots a few minutes later and get the same reaction. My stress dipped downwards towards an infinite blackness.

P'nyssa leaned over somewhere, I'm not sure where, and I heard a fluttering sound. "Keep your eyes closed. We haven't done this in a while, so you just relax." I kept my eyes closed as one of her mittens stroked my butt. I very suddenly wanted Aaden, who actually liked to play with my butt from time to time. The only male lover on the ship I had acquired was Tails, but he was mostly into being fucked rather than fucking and I was definitely in a bottoming mood. "Good," P'nyssa whispered. "Then you might appreciate this."

I felt something warm and wet drip on the crack of my butt. I recognized the fluttering sound I had heard earlier as I felt her other mitten, now covered in a glove, slowly work the wetness deeper into the cleft and up against my asshole.

I groaned softly. This was something I wanted, if not needed. P'nyssa's gloved mitten massaged my hole directly, coaxing me to open up to her. I wondered if she was going to fuck me with some kind of harness or just play, but it didn't matter. Any kind of play would make me happy right about now. She pressed her thumb slowly into my asshole; I pushed back and my hole easily swallowed her digit.

She worked her thumb around in my butt, caressing my sphincter. Rotating her thumb in slow circular motions she did to my asshole what she had been doing to my back-- massaging the muscles to make them loosen up. As far as I could tell she wasn't using her telepathy for anything other than sensing; the physical effects were from entirely physical actions.

I heard the fluttering sound again and assumed she was putting a glove on the other hand. More lubrication dribbled across my buttocks as she withdrew her thumb; she even dripped some directly into the opening she had created before it close up behind her. "Ready?" she asked.

"I hope so," I agreed. I felt the blunt tip of her mitten, rolled up as one would roll their tongue, press against my hole. I tried to relax as she pressed down. "Harder," I said.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Believe me, you're a long way from that!" I gasped. "Stroke in and out, pressing a little further each time." Her mitten rose and fell slowly against my hole, and I gave way a little more each time. I could feel myself opening up, my experienced asshole knowing what to expect from each little thrust. Suddenly my hole just flowered under her pressure and her whole mitten sank into me up to the thumb. "Oh, wow," I gasped.

"Mm-hmm," she agreed. "More?"

"Yes!" I gasped.

"You haven't done this in ages either, Ken. When was the last time?"

It took me a while to recollect and I had to admit, "On the outbound trip to Battia."

"Then take it slow."

"Don't want to," I gasped. "Fuck, P'nyssa, this is so good..."

She withdrew her mitten slowly, then pressed it back inwards. This time it felt larger and I recognized that she had rolled her thumb up against her mitten. "How long are those gloves?" I asked.

"They're birthing gloves for Tindals."

"Good," I gasped. She pumped her mitten against my hole slowly and I pushed my butt upwards, wanting more. So far there was no pain at all which was exactly as it should have been. She pressed downwards and her mitten sank into me past the thumb. A spasm clenched my asshole around her wrist and suddenly she was completely inside me, her mitten balling into a fist. "Ohhh, P'nyssa..."

We held still for a few minutes, each not sure of what the other wanted or was going to do. Finally, I took the initiative. "P'nyssa, I want to turn over."

"Should I..."

"Just move slowly," I said as I pushed myself over onto my side, rolling completely over as her wrist turned inside me. Tindals have slightly less rotational freedom with their wrists than other species, so she grimaced slightly as I turned over. "Just turn it. It's safe."

She did as I suggested and I felt her fist turn slowly inside me. I looked up into her eyes and saw a look of nervous surprise. "I'm a doctor and I'm supposed to know how dangerous this is, but..."

"But you don't from a practical point of view." I pushed myself up onto my elbows to look down between my legs. On the other side of my flaccid cock I could see her arm sinking into my body, the blue of her fur showing through the white material of her glove. I leaned back against the pillows.

"What do I do now?"

I chuckled. "You do three things. First, you put some lube on my cock. Then you put more lube on your wrist. And finally, you fuck me silly."

"Fuck you?" she asked.

"You've seen Aaden do this, haven't you?" She shook her head. "We've been sleeping in the same bed for over half a millennia and you've never watched Aaden and me, or anyone else for that matter, fistfuck?"

"I've done it with women, Ken, but... the asshole is different. I mean, a long time ago I remember we did this, but it wasn't fucking." She did as I asked on the first two, however, dribbling lubricant on my cock and then some down the cleft of my ass again, getting it all over her wrist and my asshole.

I took my cock and began stroking it slowly. Sometimes when I'm getting fisted I can't really get it up; the extreme relaxation it takes to get fisted is at odds with the tension it takes to sustain an erection. It did take a little longer than usual this time but when I was hard I was completely solid. "Oh, Gods, P'nyssa... fuck me. Please?"

She looked down and began stroking her fist inside my guts. "Yes, like that." I took my cock in hand and began a familiar motion well-practiced after a thousand years, sliding along the length with my clenched hand. Her mitten slid like a soft piston inside my guts. "What's it feel like?"

"Warm," she gasped, her own thrill rising. "And so soft."

"Yes," I moaned as I felt my excitement building. I love getting fistfucked and I can rarely last very long when I have someone inside me to that extent. "Harder," I said.

She did as I asked, moving her hand a little faster and with a little more determination. I could feel it inside my belly, moving about. Both our breathing rang loud in my ears as I felt the inevitable tension build to its highest pitch and release itself with a shout of "Yes!" My come shot out across my belly, covering me in a thin white sheen. "Yes."

"Should I take it out?"

"Slowly," I said. "And if my sphincter spasms, stop and let it do its thing."

She nodded. I felt her wrist up against my hole, spreading me opening again as she pulled it out. My asshole didn't argue with the desire of this large object to get out of me and moments later she was stripping the gloves off and tossing them into a trash SDisk. "Uck. I got lube on my fur."

"Did you see any blood?" I asked.

"No, I didn't. That surprised me."

I shrugged. "Blood actually doesn't happen that often." I got up slowly, feeling my insides complain a little at the rough treatment, grabbed my beloved by the shoulders and dropped her down onto the bed, pressing down on her with my weight. "So," I said, "What can I do for you?"

"Oh," she said, "Why don't we wait for morning for that?"

"You're sure?" I asked.

"That was enough excitement for one day." She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said. "But now I'm awake."

"If you can't sleep, don't keep me awake."

I nodded. "I'll avoid that." I snuggled down close to her. "What about the lube in your fur?"

"It'll wash out in the morning," she whispered around a yawn. "Right now I want to go to sleep."

I cuddled close to her for a few minutes until her breathing had eased down to a comfortable rhythm. But as I had realized earlier, I wasn't tired anymore and decided to get up and not bother her; the bed is no place to toss and turn. It's for sleeping and sex, not tossing and angsting.

I went back to my workstation. By dawn I had the behavior sequence debugged and a raft of notes about alternatives. I went to bed, snuggling next to P'nyssa, who would probably be getting up in just about two hours to take on her shift. I mentioned to Lance to wake me in six, and when he made an objection I repeated my demand, but capitulated on his scheduling me for a four-hour nap tomorrow afternoon. Then I passed out, satisfied in more ways than just one.