The Journal Entries

The Incredible Thirty Hour Party had just entered its twentieth hour when I finally got free of my assignments and started making my way down to the forward flight lounge, now filled with all manner of sentient beings. I didn't expect to find any of the primary flight crew there; David, Kathy, Tasha and all of them would be sleeping right now, trying to shake off the effects of the first six hours of the Thirty Hours so that they would be in the kind of shape needed to take the ship out of hyperspace at the end of the last six hours.

As I walked in, I was struck by a wall of noise, an incredible blast of conversation and music. "Kenny!" I was immediately attack-hugged from the right by Trianna, only to be followed on the other side by Lindsay. Dao surrounded me, Olivia managed to be underfoot, and finally P'nyssa parted the crowd and handed me a party horn. "Happy Voyage, beloved," she said.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. "Protect me from all these miscreants!" I said.

She laughed and wrapped her tentacle around my arm, placing her head against my shoulder. "They're not miscreants, Ken."

Lindsay approached, Olivia in front of her. "Yeah, really. We love you, Ken. You've somehow managed to touch all our lives," Lindsay said. Her hands reached down and mussed my hair. "You managed to spread yourself very thin, and yet keep all of our attentions."

"And taught a few lessons," Dao said.

"No, I didn't do that," I said. "You did that, Dao." I looked up at Olivia. "And you did that. You were looking for answers to questions you had. Maybe you didn't know how to word them properly, but they were there. I did nothing new, nothing really important. Don't attach any importance to me. I'm just this person, you know? A little older, and I know where to find the answers to the kinds of questions you all had, and sometimes I know how to word the answers so that they make sense." I smiled. "It's my technique for getting beautiful, wonderful, talented people into bed. They think I'm some guru." I laughed. "I'm just a library hound, really."

"Garbage," Lindsay said. I looked up into her eyes (an act that, if I keep doing it is, is going to giving me a permanent crick!). "Ken, there are 2000 people on this ship, and if any one of them managed to change the life of any other, they should both be happy for their roles. You... you changed the lives of more than a dozen people, and that's not even counting saving the lives of 37 very grateful Han." Her hand caressed my cheek as tears started streaming from my eyes. "Don't fight it."

"But... But I don't do anything special, Lindsay. I'm a geneticist, that's what I do. That's where I work to change the universe. Other than that, I'm just another person."

P'nyssa wrapped her tens around me. "I think she's trying to say that she knows that, Ken. We know you're just another person. Nobody's putting you on a pedestal. AIs only know how often you've stood someone up, ignored their calls and mail, avoided going forward with someone who cared for you because you're not quite brave enough to tell them you don't have room for them in your life." She nodded her head. "I know some of it. I know how much you want to spread yourself, and how sometimes you hurt yourself and someone else in the process."

Lindsay nodded. "But what you do, Ken, is tell the truth in a language that the person listening understands."

"Lindsay," I said, swallowing my tears and at least a little of my ego with it, "You do it too. Forget what Sarah says; without you, I could never talk to other Han quite the same way. I... I need you to do that translation for me. You've taken the trouble to understand both halves. I can't think of a way to thank you for that."

"You don't have to."

I smiled. Somehow, the frustration I felt at my sheer inability to be part of her life, forever, welled up within me and I buried my face in P'nyssa shoulder, crying. It took a long time to get out and I don't know where it all came from. I was surrounded by a crowd of friends and lovers who wrapped themselves around me in a tight knot and held me. P'nyssa and Lindsay and Olivia and Dao and Trianna all around me, holding me. I looked up as the tears started to ease, and I looked around. "I love all of you, and that's so... weak."

"No, it isn't," Lindsay said. "It says everything perfectly."

P'nyssa slowly eased me aside and wrapped her tens around me. "You've managed to do it again."

I nodded, grinning sadly. "Did I hurt anyone this time?"

P'nyssa peaked around my shoulder and looked into the crowd. "I don't think so. I think for once you managed to get away with it."

I laughed. "I guess I'm getting better."

"Or you're managing to pick the right kind of people." She kissed my cheek softly. "By the way, I really want to thank you for Lindsay. She's everything you could hope for in a... what did you call them?"

"Species friend," I said. "Liaison? Representative? Friend is really important to me. Why are you thanking me?"

P'nyssa shook her head. "Because when you introduced her to me, it was the first time I'd looked at a Han and not thought about height, weight, biology, physiology. I thought, 'Here is someone Ken loves.' And, you're my coimelin. That made me take a long, hard look at her." She nodded. "She's special. They're all special. Some are confused, some are even a little racist, some are falling headfirst into Pendorian culture and loving every minute of it. But... she's got a good head on her shoulders. She wants to know, she wants to learn. She wants a good world for her children. And she knows what's valuable and what's not. And she think you're valuable."

I sighed. "I'm glad you all think so."

"We'll never stop thinking so," she said.

Eventually, my mood lifted. Even sadness is hard to hold onto for long. Out of habit my hand slid down her thighs and up the high slit of her skirt, which wasn't designed to hide anything anyway. "Ken?"

"Yes, love?"

"Would you like to sneak off into one of these rooms and..."

"Do the wild thing?"

She giggled. "Yeah. Do the wild thing."

"I'd love to." I took her hand and led her down to the SDisk outside the door. Like kids, we ran laughing to our bedroom. We both tumbled onto the bed and hands and mittens sought out clothing and tossed it aside. She tossed aside my cuffs and I ditched her lovely white bowtie. We didn't even bother with the buttons on our blouses, but just pulled them up over our heads before falling onto the bed, hands seeking out the familiar pleasures.

It hard for me to describe just how much I love and adore P'nyssa. I love the soft swell of her belly, the soft floppiness of her breasts, the soft curls of her hair. Why did I ever give Tindals hair? They're a furry species! But still in P'nyssa's case it was wonderful to stroke and hold and caress. We kissed, and I loved the soft touch of her tongue against mine, the hot warmth of her breath, the warm press of her body. Her tens slithered around me, sliding on her layer of blue fur, and she pulled me close as I pulled her close. Her breasts pressed against my chest and I dipped down to kiss her nipple. The one I attended to grew hard under my lips. "Ooohh," she sighed. "You and Aaden are the most important men in my life, and, Ken, I absolutely wouldn't have it any other way."

"And you're the most important fem in my life, P'nyssa. I don't see why that should ever change."

We turned over in bed, and she kissed my throat, working her way down my chest and kissing my nipples, making me shiver and growl. "Gods, P'nyssa, I love when you do that."

"You always have." Her mittens tugged on the buttons that held my pants closed, pulling open the flap of my pants. My cock sprang out, eager and enthusiastic. She stroked my cock with her hands, sending more shivers down my spine. "Well, well, well," she said. "My, Ken, what a hard dick you've got tonight."

"All the better to fuck you with, my love."

"Is that all you want?" she giggled, winking.

"You have a better suggestion?"

"Yeah," she growled, her voice low and throaty. "Fuck me in the ass."

"Are you serious?"

She reached down and began tugging on the zipper of her own pants. She pulled them down and threw them aside. "Would you refuse this ass?" she asked, turning around and wiggling it at me.

"Not in a million years." I quickly got behind her as she bent over, jutting her ass high into the air, her legs spread far apart to put my cock level with her tight little asshole. I grabbed the bottle that stood by the bedstand and poured some into my palm, then lubricated my erection. I poured some of the liquid into the crease of her butt, then slowly eased a finger into her tight little hole. She let go with a small whimper as my finger probed deeper and deeper into her until my finger was sunk deep into her rectum and I could feel the grip of her sphincter around the base. I slid it around in slow, careful strokes, feeling the moist bore of her asshole against my fingertip as I tried to loosen her up.

She squirmed against my touch. "Come on, Ken. Get inside me."

I slipped my finger out of her hole and took my place behind her to replace it with my cock. "Ready?"

"Yes. Just... go slow."

I pressed the head of my erection against her tiny hole. She whimpered, one short "Mmmph... ah!" as the head of my cock slid past her anus and into her hot, little ass. "More?" I asked.

She nodded, her head pressed against the pillow. I put my hands on her hips and pulled, slowly easing my cock into her asshole until the skin of my thighs was warmed by the touch of hers. She groaned softly as my cock burrowed its way into her almost virginal asshole. As I rested there, giving her time to relax, I murmured, "We don't do this often enough."

"If we did it more often," she gasped, "You'd get used to it and I wouldn't have anything to keep you around!"

"I have plenty of other reasons to stay around!" I grinned. "Besides, this way you stay tight all the way down." I slowly pulled out of her butthole, watching my cock emerge from her butt, fascinated by the sight of it. Then I slid back into her. "Getting better?"

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured.

"Good," I said. Her silky insides stroked over the entire length of my cock with every slow thrust; I couldn't imagine getting enough of her, ever, not like this. She grunted softly on every downstroke, and on each withdrawal I felt her asshole gripping at my skin, pulling me in, trying to keep me buried inside her body. I ran my hands lovingly over her gorgeous, round asscheeks, squeezing the hot, soft flesh in my palms. Looking down, my cock rocked in and out of her grasping anus, a soft cone of flesh flexing back and forth with the motion of my cock.

I wasn't going to last long; the very idea of being so deep within my beloved's ass turned me on enough that I was going to explode at any second. I stroked her back, feeling her luscious fur sliding under my fingertips, trying to stave off orgasm as I felt it winding tighter within my belly. It didn't help. With a "Yes!" my orgasm flew down my spine and out through my cock. I felt a helpless wave of intense, indescribable pleasure slam through me as I shot a stream of come up into her grasping asshole. I had to hold onto her gorgeous ass for dear life or fall off the bed in oblivion.

She slid forward, pulling my cock out of her and sending signals of painful intensity up my cock and into my brain. "Whew," she said as she lay down on her back.

"Yeah," I said. "How do you feel?"

"Well... fucked." She grinned, and I chuckled along, sliding my hand up to fondle her breasts again. "And tired."

"Tired?" I teased, then yawned at the mere hint of it. "I guess that's what beds are for." I looked around. We had mussed up the sheets a little bit, but they were still clean enough, especially after tossing the coverlet aside. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"You've been on duty all day, haven't you?" I nodded. "So have I. I think a nap would be fine."

"Lance? Wake us up at D-minus-2 hours, would you?"

"I'll do that," the AI replied calmly. P'nyssa tossed me a small towel and I wiped myself off as well as I could. She cuddled up against me, her hand on my chest. She lay on my arm in just the right way; my hand could cup one cheek of her butt perfectly from this angle. Eventually she'd have to move off, or the reduced circulation in the arm she was lying on would become painful. We knew this; after centuries of lying together, we knew everything about each other. And I felt perfect about that.

"I love you, Nyss."

She nodded her head slowly. "I love you, too, Ken. I always will."

---

Somewhere, a bell was ringing. "DING! DING! DING! Wake up!"

Cursing, I looked up at the ceiling. "I'm awake, Lance!"

"I know," the AI replied. "But you did ask me to remind you. And now that you are awake, may I suggest that you shower before presenting yourself to the crowd outside? Surely they would like you to smell better than you do now."

"Wha?" P'nyssa asked, raising her head.

"Shower time. And the party's just getting into high gear." She turned over onto her back, grumbling. I enjoyed watching her, but my sense of responsibility took over. I kissed her nipple. "Come on."

"All right," she groaned. "We only got five hours."

"It'll have to do. We can get more after the party." I stood up and headed into the shower. Under the warm water, I closed my eyes and teetered on the brink of sleep again, but I remembered to find soap and clean off my body, especially my cock. P'nyssa joined me eventually and I helped wash her as well. She moaned softly as my hands caressed her back, then shivered as I washed her butt. "A little sore?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm," she sighed. "You guys have calluses after all these years."

"No, we're just used to it." We rinsed off and dried off, then dressed and headed back to the party. As we re-entered, the sound washed over us again. "I'm going to get something to drink," P'nyssa said.

"Do that. I'll mingle." She nodded and stepped away. I found Lindsay and Olivia sitting together, holding each other and staring out the window. "Hi," I said.

"Ken!" she said, waving. "You came back."

"I needed a nap."

"We understand," she said. "Less than sixty minutes left."

"Scared, Lindsay?"

She nodded. "I've read all the literature and I've learned the language some, but... it's not real to me. I'm re-entering a universe my grandparents left because they didn't think it was worthy of them."

"It wasn't. Their value of worth was unique to them. I hope it's changed. I think Rheinhardt and Greaves would approve of the choice you made, Lindsay. They chose life over death, children over barrenness. I gave you that choice again, and you took it." I placed my hand on her shoulder. "I hope it's the right choice."

"I think it is." She smiled at me. "I think I've got a world for Maia to grow up in."

"I think so too-- eep!" I felt a hand sliding up between my thighs, and turned around to see who my groper was. "Tails!"

He grinned. "Sorry, Ken. I just wanted you to know I was still around."

"Excuse me," I said, holding my hand up to Lindsay and Olivia. I turned and hugged Tails tightly. "I'm going to miss you, dude."

He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you too, Ken. Don't forget me when we land, huh? Remember me the next time you throw a party."

I kissed him. He kissed me back. "I won't forget you. How could I forget these two tails and the gorgeous butt underneath them?" I held him close and felt a solid lump rub against my own. I slid my hand down his butt. "Nishipo," I whispered, calling him by his real name, "You're a little excited."

"I keep thinkin' I could get you into bed one last time."

I grinned. "There's a simaculae next door."

"Is it in use?"

"Probably." I closed my eyes and asked Lance if it was.

Yes, Lance replied. As an orgy pit. Feel free to join.

I chuckled. "Nishipo, if you don't mind putting on a public display, the simaculae is just what we're looking for." I explained.

"Let's go," he laughed.

"Excuse us," I said to Lindsay and Olivia. "We're off..." I tried to think of a good excuse.

"To fuck like rabbits, yes," Olivia said. "We're coming to watch."

Tails' grinned. "Come on, then!" The four of us made our way out. The crowd parted at the oncoming Lindsay; Han stand out in a crowd, being even taller than most Centaurs. The door opened and the four of us tumbled out into the hall, and we walked into the Simaculae.

The noise was less than the party. So was the lighting; it was relatively dim. But bodies were slithering and sliding back and forth, moans and groans of rhythmic lust coming from curious corners. Olivia shrank back a little from the crowd. "Olivia?" Lindsay asked.

"Sorry," she said. "I... I'm not used to this kind of sight. It's... fascinating."

Tails grabbed my hand and led me down into the pit. It literally was a pit, or perhaps more like a cone. The bottom was flat, but for three meters it curiously sloped, like stairs leading downwards, but where stairs have sharp verticals these were sloped at forty-five degrees, and all heavily padded. In the center a small firepit burned, casting light about the room and beautifully organic shadows upon the walls.

We fell upon each other eagerly. I did want him, one more time. Hopefully not the last time, but perhaps the last time for a long time to come. We tore each others' clothes off. Where I had worn stuff appropriate to a party, he had worn his ship uniform. His boots and pants came off easily while we struggled with my own. Finally naked, we tumbled onto the floor, he above me. "Gods, you're gorgeous," I gasped.

"And you, sir, are just the sexiest creature on board!" His hard cock pressed against my groin, but I wanted to feel his cock in my throat. It had been too long since I had tasted his come. I crawled down between his legs until his cock dangled before my eyes. I attacked it like it was a well in the desert, a source of life and pleasure. He groaned aloud as I slid my mouth up the length of his shaft. "Easy, Ken, easy!"

I slowed down a little. I tasted his gorgeous cock with my tongue, swashing over it to taste it. I wanted to feel ever centimeter of it and remember the texture of it afterwards. I wanted to suck up every mil of sweat on his balls. He groaned as I pitched my head back and forth, reach up to grasp his tails by their base and hold in, pulling myself up to suck harder.

"Oh, so that's what you want?" he grinned. He rose off me and turned around, his head in my crotch as his cock against slid into my mouth. But this time, he had control. His cock fucked my mouth, greedily taking his pleasure from my sucking. His mouth surrounded my cock as he sucked me. We formed a circle of manhood, sucking each other, mouth to cock to mouth to cock and around again. He was hot. Better yet, since I had started this he was closer to coming.

"Ken, I think I'm gonna... gonna..."

Yes! His cock shot a hot stream of thick, almost gummy come into my mouth. In the hot lust I felt it only fed my desire. I rolled the salty mess around in my mouth, swallowing it down as if it were the nectar of Heaven.

His head was bobbing on my crotch, trying to get me to come. I stopped him and pushed him to the side. He fell onto his side in an ungainly tangle of arms and legs and tails. I grabbed his tails by their base again and pushed his legs up to his chest. "Ready?" I asked.

"I'm ready," he said.

"Good!" I was gentle with him, like I was with P'nyssa. I pressed my saliva-slick cock against his asshole and pressed inwards. And experienced asshole, he flexed it just enough to let me slide in, then tightened down as my hips pressed against his butt. "How's that?"

"Sweet," he sighed.

"Good!" I started to fuck him gently, rocking back and forth on my knees, stroking my cock in and out of his asshole, taking him gently and surely. He had his eyes closed, his back slightly twisted so he could just lie and enjoy the sensation of being fucked slowly and lovingly by someone he trusted. At least, that's what I would have been doing had our positions been reversed.

My second orgasm took a long time to build. There was something special in being able to just fuck him, to just stroke in and out of his sweet asshole with my hard cock, and watch the people around me enjoying themselves in all sorts of poses and positions. Occasionally, an ecstatic shout of joy would erupt from some couple or collection of bodies.

He looked up at me. "You're taking long," he mentioned.

"Getting to be too much?"

"Don't think so. Could use some lube," he said. Fortunately, Olivia has good hearing, because I saw her wave to me, then toss me a small plastic bottle. I caught it in flight and just dripped it onto my pistoning cock, allowing the motion to carry the slick liquid into Tails' body and make our lovemaking a little more gentle.

My cock moved easily in and out of his body, thanks to the lube. He tightened down with his hole and milked my cock as I made love to him. I started to feel the familiar tingle of my climax. I was getting close, or so I thought.

But just as I reached that point of no return, it subsided. Then returned. Then subsided. I gripped his hip and held him, just watching his eyes flutter as he shuddered at my gentle attack on his prostate. Finally, thought, the tension returned, and I felt it building within me. This time my fucking his beautiful ass and asshole took me over the edge and I came inside him, gasping softly.

We separated, and Olivia was kind enough to toss me a towel. I handed it to Tails so he could use it first, and he cleaned himself off. Then I used it for myself. We sat, not speaking, just smiling and kissing gently. "I will miss you," I said.

"I'll miss you, too, Ken. Good luck. It's going to be a busy century."

"Tell me about it," I growled. We kissed again, then slowly stood up. "Now where did you toss my shoes?"

Lindsay pointed them, then came over and hugged me. "It's funny, but I thought men were, well... a little more mean to each other than that."

I pulled Tails into my arms. "Usually I am. Aaden and I can vary between than kind of gentleness and the sort of brutality that would make you think he was killing me." I grinned. "With Nishipo, though..."

"I just like it gentle." He kissed my cheek. "And Ken does gentle very well."

"Yeah, sometimes." I grinned.

A soft chime rang overhead. "Attention. Ten minutes to transit and departure from hyperspace on my mark. Ten minutes... mark!"

We dressed hurriedly, watching the clock. Running, the four of us piled into the other room, where revelers were waiting, anticipating the moment to come. We watched the clock counting down. For some of us, this was the end of a journey. For others, just the beginning. For me, it was both. The moment I got home Alpha would be running full steam ahead; from the terraforming equipment, now millennia dormant, lying in her monstrous vehicle bays that would be dedicated to the creation of Terra's new ringworld, to the hundred genetanks that would, someday, give rebirth to a species a millennium in wait.

The clock ticked down, minute by minute. People held their breath. Then the clock hit 00:10. "Ten!" people chanted. "Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" The windows blinked, glowed for a moment, and then resolved into the view of a star, several hours away even with Corrane. People still held their breath. Over the speakers we heard, "This is the Nyano Handele calling llerkin Free Space Control. Do you copy?"

There was a short pause, then, "Copy, Nyano Handele, this is llerkin Free Space Control. You are on our scopes at six light- hours solar, 86 degrees off from llerkin-4. Welcome home, Nyano Handele."

That's when we cheered.