The Journal Entries

"We have similar tastes in Unciati," I observed, amused. From where I stood I could see Jahn and what I assumed to be Sufi sitting across from each other; they could well have been stamped from similar modes, although Sufi seemed even smaller and boyish than Jahn. Both had very muted grey spotting on their bodies, and both kept their fur trimmed and under control.

Aaden laughed softly. "From here, though, it looks as if Sufi is holding up his half of the conversation." He pushed the doors of the restaurant further open and we entered the well-lit and rustic setting of a Rhysh inn, this one called, simply, Peasantry.

"Well, Jahn only speaks when he has something to say."

"Does he have something to say on many things, or only on what he considers important?"

"Usually only what he considers important," I mused.

"Then these two should get along great," Aaden chuckled. "They're just like us. You're an incorrigible motormouth and I'm the reserved, calm half."

I nudged him painfully in the side. "Be serious!" I smiled.

"I am being serious," he said, grinning at me. I laughed. We joined the two Uncia at dinner.

"Sufi," Aaden said first, "I'd like you to meet my coimelin, Kennet Shardik. Ken, Sufi."

Sufi was already staring at me, a gesture that always makes me very uncomfortable. I smiled at him and said "I've heard a lot about you, Sufi. It's actually good to meet you at last."

He swallowed hard, a gesture that made me think twice about restraining my own discomfort, and said "I'm pleased to meet you, Vatare'."

I stood up and laughed to cover my discomfort. "Sufi, I'm Aaden's lover to you, nothing else. Please, just call me Ken. One of these days I'm going to get tired of saying that to people." I inhaled, let it out, then said "Aaden, this is Jahn. Jahn, meet Aaden Satpulov."

Jahn stood, something Sufi thankfully had not done, and shook Aaden's paw warmly with his own. "It's good to meet you sir. Ken speaks highly of you."

"Does he? That's a first." I shot Aaden a pout; he chuckled back at me. This ritual was so old and familiar that I found myself enjoying it despite the familiarity. The old adage is "Familiarity breed contempt," but what happens when familiarity is old enough that it becomes a tradition? Maybe it was just Aaden. I smiled as the thought spoke itself to me. Sitting down, I watched him take his seat across the table from me. I don't know if he saw me watching, and it doesn't matter. I love him. I love watching him. I love being with him.

We sat and talked and dinner was served by a short Mephit who seemed rather nervous as he took instructions. He was clearly a contractual Alanailen, although I couldn't tell if the innkeeper or some other person was his contractual master. It didn't matter. He did take our orders perfectly, returning with the drinks, and then with the food. I was surprised at how well they interpreted "rare"; with the right equipment I think P'nyssa could have made this prime rib "moo" again.

I was surprised at the conversation as it went back and forth, mostly because I didn't have much to say. Aaden and Sufi and Jahn seemed perfectly content to talk about politics among themselves, both of the Uncia grilling him about what he knew of the coming political battles between Terra and Pendor, almost as if I weren't there. I ate quietly, feeling oddly relieved. I wasn't the subject or the center of conversation, and I felt good about it.

Sufi leaned over and tugged on my shirt. "Fah?"

"Sufi," I said softly. "Please."

"Sorry," he said softly. "You're very quiet. Aaden told me once that you quote never shut up endquote, so I was wondering if something was wrong tonight."

"No, not really," I replied, leaning over. "Maybe I'm just not in a very talkative mood tonight." I smiled at him. "Some people would wonder if I was sick, hearing me say that."

He nodded. "I understand the feeling perfectly, though." He turned to look over where Aaden and Jahn were wrapped up in some matter or point of order, then back at me. "I've always wanted to ask you a question."

"You and everyone else on the ring," I replied, smiling.

"So do I get my one question?" he asked.

"You have my undivided attention for the evening," I replied. "Ask away."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Keep him," he replied, nodding his head in Aaden's direction. "Is it because you're, well..."

"Keep him?" I laughed. "Sufi, I treasure every moment I have with him. It's he who keeps me. He could leave at any second. It's me who can't leave, I'm so attached, so obsessed with him."

A puzzled look crossed Sufi's face. "He says that about you."

"I know," I replied, smiling. "He says that," I continued, "but can I believe it? It's the same thing the other way. I say what I just said, but how much of it does he believe? We're still here because we trust each other."

He nodded. "I wonder how long I'll live before I find a love like that. I've been alive longer than Aaden has, yet he seems to have found what he's always wanted."

"Is it what you want, Sufi? To always have someone that you're that strongly attached to? I can never, ever be sure just how much free will I have, now that I have him. It's that strong, that powerful, really."

He smiled. "I guess I won't know until it happens. Or do you have to go looking for it?"

"You'll have to ask Aaden. He came looking for me."

He nodded. Dessert came, and we ate what we could, thanking the Innkeeper for his patience and care, and took ourselves out to the streets. "Well," I said, pulling my jacket around me, "Aaden and I made no plans after this. Where would you two like to go?"

"Actually," Aaden said, "I do have a suggestion. I'd like to visit my old home."

"Up in the hills?" Sufi asked. Aaden nodded. "I've never seen it."

"Neither have I," Jahn replied. "Although Ken told me about it once. Said it was a nice place."

Aaden looked at me; I pretended not to notice his stare, gazing about at the archaic construction of Rhysh village. "Sure," he said, his voice laughing. "Let's go see the old place."

We hiked through town, an unlikely troupe of mels, heading for the outskirts and up a winding, graveled path to Aaden's home, crossing a small wooden bridge before coming to it. His old house was a tall 'A'-frame construction home set into the hillside, and impressive wooden structure with wooden shingles on the roof and earnest glass in the windows. The weeds had grown in a few places, making the place look all the more abandoned, even though it had been but a century since Aaden had last been here. It looked darkly mysterious to me, especially in the half-light of a Pendorian evening.

"I'll get some firewood," Aaden announced softly. "Sufi, would you like to help?"

"I will," Jahn jumped up. "I want to."

"Okay," Aaden replied, "Come on then. Ken, could you start what we have there?"

I nodded and piled firewood onto the grill, checking to make sure the flue was open first. Aaden's fireplace was small, but not so small that it couldn't consume a good-sized log if it was started properly. Paper, kindling, and finally a split log were burning full out when Aaden and Jahn had decided they had brought in enough firewood.

I stood up and helped Aaden shake the woodbits out of the fur on his arms, using our closeness as an excuse to hug him. He held me close himself, as if to reassure himself. "I love you," he whispered, purring softly.

"I love you too," I replied. "You want him, don't you?"

"Yeah," he replied. "He is very pretty, just like you said. Not as pretty as Sufi, but he's also, well, less innocent."

"Than who? Me?"

"No, than Sufi. You, you're as corrupt as they come, Ken, with a soul black as night."

"You don't believe in souls," I replied.

"I'm allowed to consider the possibility," he said. "Like you said, it's not an argument you can nullify. I'm not going to argue against the existence of souls because there is no evidence either way."

I smiled. "You're silly, lover."

"So are you."

"Are you two going to be out here all night?" Sufi asked, poking his head out the door onto the back porch. "The fire is getting cold and the wine is getting warm."

"Hey," I said, "I'm allowed to cuddle my coimelin if I like. Is that okay with your lordship?"

Sufi blushed visibly. "Guess it is. Just wondering."

"Come here," I said, waving my hand in Sufi's direction. He followed my gesture and stepped within and arm's reach. I grabbed him by the collar of his windbreaker and pulled him into a tight hug, holding him and Aaden at the same time. His back stiffened in surprise, but eventually he eased. "I just wanted to do that."

Aaden nodded, smiling. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Someday I'm going to learn where your charisma comes from."

I whispered back, "When I figure out where yours comes from, I'll let you in on mine." He laughed. "Come on, you two," I said in a louder voice, "Let's go inside."

Inside we sat down again, and this time I deliberately sat next to Sufi, rather than hoping that our haphazard arrangement would put me next to him. Aaden sat behind Jahn and began slowly stroking his back; Jahn leaned forward to support himself on his arms, the purring from him loud over even the crackling of the fireplace.

"Nervous?" I asked Sufi as he sat there, drinking from his glass.

"A little," he confessed to me. "I know I can do it. The question is, can I do it with you?"

"What's there to do with me that you can't do with Aaden? Like I said, from my perspective he's more important than I am. If you're able to keep up with him, I'd be honored to try and keep up with you."

He nodded. I'm never dishonest with myself once my conclusions are clear... it had been pretty obvious from the moment I sat down at dinner that I was going to end up sleeping with Sufi. I could have asked him at the dinner table, but most people like going through the rituals and motions of acting coy, letting the decisions make themselves. I decided that now was the time Sufi and I had both been waiting for. I leaned over and kissed him.

He responded with an overwhelming flurry of surprise, pulling back and staring into my eyes. "You really... "

"Sufi," I replied softly. "I'd be very happy if you'd let me spend the night with you."

He sat there, open-jawed. "Uhm... yes!" he replied, closing his mouth and smiling at me before closing the distance between us to kiss me, solidly, on the mouth, his muzzle parting to let our tongues meet halfway before he pushed me down onto the carpet. He covered my body with his own, his weight significant to me, his knee pressed up against my groin. I growled softly back at him, the centuries of living with a Felinzi lover paying off with its realism.

He murred softly as he pulled away from me. "Is there a guest bedroom we could retreat to?"

"Upstairs, first door on the left," I heard Aaden murmur softly. I raised my head to look; Aaden was leaning against a stuffed chair, his cock firmly lodged deep in Jahn's throat. I winked at him and watched as he slowly petted Jahn's head.

"Let's go," I whispered, "and leave these two to each other."

Sufi nodded; he stood up and reached down to give me his paw, pulling me along with him as we headed upstairs and found the room Aaden had indicated. I didn't bother to turn the lights on; I walked in ahead of Sufi and, tightening my grip on his paw, dragged him in along with me.

He laughed as we hit the bed together, kissing and fondling each other madly, our hands roving over each others' body. He stroked my erection through my pants, and I found his and teased him just as surely. He growled and purred, and I was going crazy just as fast. "Come on," I whispered, "Let's get out of these damned clothes."

He nodded and we began unbuckling and unbuttoning each other as quickly as our fingers would allow. It was tempting at time to tear away at the buttons, clasps and loops that held our clothes together which was why I encouraged him to undo mine, and I to undo his; people are usually much more careful with possessions not their own.

Naked, we fell together onto the bed, laughing and kissing, hands roaming freely over sensual fur and smooth skin. His cock made its solidity known to me by pressing against my leg, as surely as he must have known about mine pressing against his.

Our play went on for a while, its pitch never getting higher or fading away. There was just so much pleasure in being with Sufi, in actually getting to touch my lover's lover, to hold this eternal child I'd heard so much about, as I'm sure he'd heard about me. Once past each other's supposed mystique, we were just friends exploring one another for the first time.

But even this play needs a change sometimes. I slid down the length of his body, taking his cock into my mouth in one swift pull before even getting a good look at it.

Once inside my mouth, though, I could feel it under my tongue, tasting the soft and salty musk of a day's worth of his sweat building within his sheath. He purred suddenly, loudly as I ran my tongue over the head, tasting his cock completely, going over every millimeter carefully, exploring it. I could feel the delicate veins just beneath the surface, pumping blood back to his body under protest. He grabbed my hair with his paws and held me there; I didn't complain. He had a smaller cock than average, but I didn't care; I like smaller cocks, they're easier to play with orally.

He purred as I sucked on him, finally releasing my head as he leaned back against the cushioned headboard of the bed. I smiled an evil smile in the dark and let go of his cock, crawling up to kissing his lips. He moaned softly. "Please," he whispered.

"And you've slept with Aaden," I smiled gently. "Come on!" I kissed him from where I knelt, one knee between his legs, the other outside, and I picked up the leg I wasn't straddling and pulled it upwards, towards us. "You're ready, aren't you?"

"Yes," he gasped. "For you, I am." I moved both of my legs between his, picking up his other knee and forcing him back down against the bed. I slid down again, running my tongue along the length of his cock and down over his balls, reaching his asshole and licking it softly, running my tongue around his hole, coating it in a thick layer of my saliva. I slid back up and positioned my cock there, pressing down. Without pause, I slid into him, his face lighting up in the dim light coming through the doorway. "Fah, that feels good."

"Good," I whispered in reply, stunned at just how good he felt, how tight his entire hole grasped my cock. I began to stroke him slowly, fucking him, feeling his buttock press against my hips as I impaled him, grinding my cock deeper into him. I held his legs up, pressing them against his chest, and I could feel them trembling as I fucked his tight hole.

"I'm getting closer," I whispered softly to him as we made love. "I want you to finish it by fucking me," I replied.

"Gladly," he whispered as I slid out of him. He grabbed me roughly, turning me over and lying me down on my belly. "I don't want you to be making any of the decisions," he laughed, sliding over and me and pressing his cock against my asshole, dry. I moaned softly as he pressed harder, and then suddenly he was inside me, the sensation of being torn open by his cock pale in comparison to the pleasure of its striking my prostate. "Oh, gods," I moaned.

"I was told you like that," he murred softly as he covered my body with his, his arms covering mine and denying me any freedom of movement. I don't think he was doing it on purpose; it was just his natural angle to thrust at.

And thrust he did, sliding his cock deep within me. I could well understand his trembling as he returned the favor, his cock sliding deep into me and making me shiver, making the goosebumps rise on my skin. He pressed his hips against my ass, the force of his impact making me grunt with effort, and pleasure. I reached behind myself to touch him, to feel his hips grinding against me in his wildly mechanical progression to orgasm.

I closed my eyes and panted against the bedsheets, waiting for him to come inside me, to explode. He took his time, however, pummeling against my butt, making the bed creak as the growling in his throat grew louder and louder he collapsed on top of me, jabbing his cock, roaring.

I didn't give him time to think, turning over and tossing him down onto the bed. His eyes were wide as I again pinned his legs up into the air and slid my cock inside him. This time was even easier than the last; his repeatedly hitting my prostate had made my precome flow steadily, and the head of my cock was slick with it as I shoved myself into his incredible tightness, fucking him.

Between the earlier frustration of fucking him, the intense of pleasure of being fucked myself and the burning, open sensation in my hole now, it didn't take long before I came inside him as hard and as loud as he had in me; I felt like I was being shattered by that awesome ecstasy.

I fell forward, catching myself on weak and trembling arms, my cock sliding out of him casually as I did so. I looked down at him, and he at me; there was a three-heartbeat wait before we both started laughing. I lay down on his chest, still heaving with the deep breaths he was taking as we giggled our way back to coherence.

We rolled onto our sides and I kissed his cheek. "Maybe we should get some..." we were cut off my a loud and satisfied roar from downstairs. "I was going to say, maybe we should get some sleep."

He nodded, pulling me close and giving me a kiss. "Ken... ?" he said softly.

"Hmm?" I said, already descending into sleep.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Thank you..." I said. That's the last thing I remember.