The Journal Entries

Loende 00545

Breaking In

I sat down to lunch with a huge bowl of rotini salad, ice tea and a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I figured it was finally time for me to finish this monster since I'd been putting it off for several centuries; understanding had eluded me when I'd first tried to read it, way back when I was eleven years old.

One thing that kept striking me about reading Dracula, though, was the way the hundreds, if not thousands, of vampire tales kept depicting immortality. Especially since, if the historical precedent for Dracula was Vlad Teppis the Impaler, then I was older now then old Vlad would have been at the writing of the book. They always seemed to depict immortality as boring and dull, but I had yet to find it that way. I was enjoying my perpetual youthfulness.

It was a beautiful day outside as I sat on the porch and read. The sun was out, the sky was clear for thousands of kilometers, the air was warmer than most people like but I seem to function well in. With the small SDisk installation in my iced tea glass it truly was bottomless; there were five gallons of the stuff in the refrigerator.

The sound of the living room door opening impinged upon my consciousness long enough for me to shrug and go back to reading. My relative peace and quiet didn't last long as I looked up to find Alexi standing in the porch doorway, not so much fidgeting as merely vibrating in place nervously. "Afternoon, kiddo," I said cheerfully. "What's up?"

He startled momentarily at my addressing him, as if he hadn't planned on my actually noticing him there. I do tend to get engrossed in my books, I'll admit, but not so much that I won't notice someone staring at me. "Uhm... Dad?" he said, his voice quavering a little. "Can I talk... to you... for a minute?"

I like to think I'm a good parent, that my kids can come to me and ask me any question in the universe, and that hopefully they'll also get a reasoned answer appropriate for their age. Alexi is sixteen, and at his age I knew more about sex than most people on Terra ever did back then. I didn't know everything, but a lot of what I didn't know I would later wish I had. So I've answered every question Alexi has had truthfully and honestly, and when I didn't know the answer David knew where the facts could be found, if not the truth. For him to ask if he could ask me something was so unusual it took me a second to form a response. "It must be a serious talk." He nodded. I waved him over and gestured for him to sit down in one of the other two empty chairs set around the tiny porch table. "So... what do you need to talk about?"

He shook his head at me. "I want to stand, Dad." He wasn't just standing, he was pacing back in forth in the tiny free floorspace of the porch. It was a slow, almost rocking pace, vaguely hypnotic, and I found it annoying. "Alexi."

"Huh? Oh, sorry Dad."

I got just a little angry at him, which fathers are wont to do with sixteen year old children. "Alexi. You have something to say to me, you may as well tell me." I smiled inwardly, though, realizing that I sounded a lot like my father had, all those centuries back.

He stopped for a second, grabbed the chair in his mitts and looked down at me. His eyes closed for a second, opened, and then he said, "I talked to Mom about this, and she said I should ask either you or Va." I smiled at the distinction. He used Anglic for me, Quen for Aaden. "I've never... slept with a mel before, but I think I want to."

"Most people try entalie' sex at some time in their lives."

"I know that," Alexi sighed softly. "I... well... "

"You want advice on how to?" I asked, feeling at least a little authoritative in that particular arena.

"No," he said, his voice cracking softly. It registered instantly what he was going to say next. "I want you to do it." Then he stunned me with his follow up. "Both of you."

My brain had frozen like I could feel the gears holding completely still inside my skull. He took my silence as a prompt to keep talking. "I talked to Ember and Mom, and you and Va both know what you're doing and for some reason I can't imagine trying this with a total stranger and when I thought about asking someone in the house who I knew well plenty of people came up but I kept thinking you would be the best and I decided to ask you but not before talking to Mom first about asking you."

The gears started turning again. "That's got to be the WORST run-on sentence I've ever heard come out of your mouth, Alexi."

He stared hard at me, his throat working as he swallowed his fear hard. The stare held for a few more seconds, and then we both cracked up laughing. Alexi has always been inordinately fond of conjunctions, and I've been trying to get him to shorten his sentences, at least in text, since he was six. "Come here," I said through my laughter. He smiled and sat down in my lap with a heavy "Ooof!" "You're getting big, Alexi."

"You're always saying that, Dad," he replied. "You're not mad at me, are you, and you will do it, right?"

I sighed, my feeling in a bit of a turmoil. "I'd like to talk to Aaden first, if that's okay. Maybe in a few days I'll give you my answer. Can you wait that long? How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A few weeks," he said, looking dejected. "I guess I can wait a few more days."

"Hey, brighten up," I said, smiling and lifting his chin. "I'm not going to lie to you, Alexi... I don't know how I feel right now. I'm asking you to deal with the same kind of confusion you have asking me. Is that okay?"

His smile appeared on his face. "I guess it is." He put his tens around me and hugged me tightly. "Thanks, Dad."

"For what?"

"For being the best father I could ever have hoped for."

Later that night, while Alexi and Elizabeth slept peacefully in their individual rooms, I gathered the rest of the family in the bedroom. I pointed to P'nyssa first and said "I think you know what this is about?"

She smiled. "Well, I sent him, didn't I?"


"No clue, Ken. What's up?"

I sighed softly. "Alexi came to me today; he wants to experiment, to make love with a mel. And he wants you and me to do it."

"He... That's interesting." Aaden leaned back against the headboard. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him to wait until I'd spoken with you two."

"Sounds like good advice," P'nyssa said softly. "Let me ask you, both of you: Do you want to?"

Aaden looked thoughtful. "If he wants to... If he really wants to, I think I want to as well."

"You do?" I asked, surprised.

"What did he say when he asked?" Aaden asked me. I relayed, as accurately as I possibly could (and David agreed with my memory by remaining silent) my conversation with Alexi earlier in the day. Aaden sighed, lowering his hands from atop his head and putting them in his lap. "He's right, you know. It's not wrong for him to want his parents to initiate him into sex of any kind."

"I don't know if I could do it," I said softly.

"That's because you come from a culture where what we're discussing is considered aberrant," P'nyssa said softly. "Beyond the 'culture of consent' we don't have such preconceived notions." She put her mitt on my arm softly; I sighed and leaned against her for support. "Ken... You've slept with Rainy and Ember before. You've even slept with Richard."

I nodded. "But they were all well into their adult years when that happened."

"Ember wasn't."

"Ember wasn't my own flesh and blood."

"Neither is Alexi," P'nyssa pointed out tacitly. "Your next objection will be that you didn't raise Ember in your own home. Technically, no, you didn't. But you were sleeping with her mother every other night. She didn't live in your home, but she was right next door. From the age of five on you spent at least some of your every day with Ember until she was old enough to be the independent person she is now."

I closed my eyes again, and P'nyssa continued. "Ken... are you holding back because he's male?"

I sighed. The truth will out. "Yes."

"Why?" Aaden asked, a little surprised.

Angrily, I said, "Oh you know why. No matter how much we try and claim that all sex is the same, there's a fundamental difference in the way men fuck men that you and I understand perfectly well and there's no way we'll ever be able to convey that difference to someone who wasn't born male."

Aaden stared at me for a second, nodded, and turned around on the bed, coming face to face with me. "That doesn't mean we shouldn't do it for our own son. Somebody else will, eventually... Alexi will find someone he wants to try it with if we don't."

I nodded. "The fact that my brain understands that doesn't mean my heart has to agree."

He smiled and kissed my cheek gently. "I want your cock's agreement, Ken; the rest of you will follow naturally."

I laughed softly, feeling the hours catching up with me. "It always agrees with you... it might not agree with Alexi, though."

P'nyssa rubbed her mitts against my back. "Will you at least try?"

"Even if my heart's not in the right place?"

"Even then," P'nyssa said. "Listen, you like to compare sex to either friendship or sports, depending on the emotion involved. It's either profound or exercise... you just happen to like the profound kind a lot better."


"So... Alexi is your son. You play catch with him. Toss a frisbee around. Miniature golf. And he's certainly your friend, I hope! I think you could have something special with him. I think you should try."

"You make it sound easy."

"It should be," P'nyssa said. "Because it's what he wants."

There was silence for a few seconds. Aaden broke it with, "Well?"

I nodded. "I'll do it."

"I knew you would," Aaden said softly. "Ready for bed?"

"Very," I replied. "I didn't take a nap today."

"Silly Shardik," Aaden replied, his massive furry paw tousling my hair. "Come on, under the covers, both of you."

"You're not sleeping here tonight?" I asked.

"I will, I will," he replied, crawling under the sheets with P'nyssa and I. I curled up around him and P'nyssa around me and we all went to sleep together.

As I was getting out of the shower Dave cleared his electronic throat. "Alexi is upstairs with Aaden preparing breakfast."

My stomach was immediately attacked by rabid butterflies. I decided that at best I was going to eat half a melon, and one not too acidic, either. Honeydew or cantaloupe if we had any. I grabbed a very simple pair of cotton pants and a grey shirt and ascended the g-tube to the first floor. "Good morning," Aaden said, spotting me even from the kitchen.

"Hi," I replied softly. "G'morning, Alexi."

He rose and walked over, giving me a hug. "G'morning, Dad."

We sat around the table quietly, Aaden bringing me the fruit I had requested. "Alexi..." I said softly. "We've decided."

"And?" he asked. I was impressed with my son; he held his face very still, not betraying hope or fear in his expression.

"We want to do it."

"You do?" he asked, his eyes lighting up like the day. "Oh, that's so wonderful! Thank you thank you!" He literally lunged across the table at me, hugging me tightly, holding me in his arms. He buried his face in my neck and kissed me there, surprising me with his outright eroticism the moment he was given the go-ahead.

"Woah, woah..." I said, pushing him away gently. "We have things to discuss first."

"Like what?" he asked, sitting down in his chair.

"Like, exactly what are you looking for?" Aaden replied, taking up his cue almost perfectly.

"I... I don't understand."

"Oh, come on, Alexi," I said softly. "You said you wanted to make love to a mel. What kind of lovemaking? Do you want to have intercourse? From which end? How about oral sex? What do you want?"

"Oh," Alexi said softly. "Didn't think about that part yet."

Aaden laid his hand on his son's arms softly. "What did you think about?"

"I just..." Alexi looked lost for a second. "I just thought about, well, getting into bed and doing 'stuff.' I didn't know what 'stuff' I wanted, though."

"What turns you on when you think about it?" Aaden asked.

"Oral sex. Kissing. Especially a human skin. I can't seem to get over that idea, of kissing a human. I tried it with Milsi, and I really liked it."

"What else?" Aaden prompted.

"Uhm, I don't know. I guess I want to try fucking."

"From which end?"

"Well, doing it from the top's just like doing it with a girl, I guess."

I smiled gently. "No it's not."

"You know what I mean, Dad," Alexi replied softly. "I know, you're going to talk about the spiritual stuff, and I've heard it all before."

I chuckled. "Do I really get that carried away?" I asked.

"Only when you're talking to erolie's," Aaden replied. "Most melentalie' know what you're talking about."

I shook my head. "Okay, I stand corrected."

"Oh, really?" Aaden replied, picking up on an old joke.

"Hush," I told him. "Alexi, do you want to be fucked, then?"

He paused for a moment, then said, "If I say 'no' here and 'yes' in there, would you do it?"

I stopped for a second, then said, "No. It's not part of the agreement."

"But if I say 'yes' here and 'no' in there, you would stop."

"Yes," I said.

"Then I'll say 'yes' here, and I'll see what happens when it comes to that."

I smiled at Aaden. "We've got ourselves a smart kid."

"We always have," Aaden replied. "In both of them."

As night came across Pendor, I stood out on the porch overlooking the Vinyare' ocean, across the sunlit sectors and up the ring towards the most sparsely, if at all, populated section of the entire ring. I wondered idly if tonight was going to change my entire view of the universe.

There are people who think that there's no starry sky on Pendor, that the shadow squares block out everything like a ceiling. Well, we've got plenty of starry nights, when the clouds aren't in the way, and from where I'm standing I'm sure one of those incredibly dim points out there is Terra.

Am I as far away from the culture that created me as I should be? Am I too far away? What was that word Robert was so fond of using to describe himself? The latin translated into something like 'burned blood' and I think that was a pretty good description. Terran Twentieth Century Western Culture, American, has burned itself into my blood permanently.

I don't work well in threesomes; that's a fact I've proven to myself over and again. That's not a cultural hangup, that's just me. There are so many things about my burned blood that I've overcome... my love of males, my affection for things not human, my interest in pain, my exploration of limits other people dare not touch. Somehow, through all this, there are things even I feel I shouldn't think about. Like touching my children.

I heard footsteps behind me but didn't turn around. The scent that wafted over me was distinctly Aaden's as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed his hips against mine. "Hi," he growled softly.

"Hi yourself, sexy skunk."

"Are you ready?"

I sighed. "No, but that's not gonna stop me."

Silence fell between us. Then, "You say that before heavy scenes, too, you know. We're supposed to be kind and loving tonight."

I turned in his arms to face him. "And we will be." I stopped for a second. "Between us, heavy scenes are kind and loving, Aaden. But it's still going to push my limits, and you know it, and I know it."

He nodded softly, his face open to a kiss, so I gave him one. He stayed with the kiss, our tongues meeting softly. There's nothing like feeling his muzzle part and our tongues meetings... it's simply indescribable. We separated and he said, "Come on... our son is taking a shower."

A small shiver ran down my spine. "You had to word it that way, didn't you?"

He smiled. "No, I didn't. I could have called him 'Alexi' and made it seem more impersonal. But you're not like that, Ken."

I smiled. "Let's go." We walked together into the living room and dropped down the g-tube the bedroom. The shower was indeed running, though as I sat down in the middle of the bed I heard the water stop running and the intense blow-dryers installed into the right wall of the shower stall open up with a dull, muted roar. The door to the bathroom was only half-closed.

After a few minutes even the roar went away, and the house was filled with the sounds of silence. Then I heard the shower door open, the sound of cloth on cloth (or was that fur?), and Alexi stepped out into the bedroom wearing my old terrycloth robe.

Aaden shifted slightly behind me and to my left. "Alexi," he growled softly, "come here."

Alexi, much to his credit, didn't even startle as he knelt on the edge of the bed and crawled over to Aaden. Aaden seemed to examine Alexi for a moment, then reached out and pulled Alexi into his lap, face up, leaning against his chest. I smiled to Aaden. My cue.

I followed to crawl myself, until I was leaning over Alexi, looking down at him. I supported my weight on my right hand, reaching down with my right and touching the cloth of the robe, feeling it's rough texture under my fingertips, sliding my hand where the robe closed, under the cloth and along the fur of Alexi's chest.

I looked into my son's solid grey-green eyes. He stared back at me, smiling just a little, but also surprised. I've got to admit that I was surprised at just how excited I was getting by the prospect of what I was about to do. "Alexi," I whispered as the lights dimmed further, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

His gaze didn't falter, but I saw his throat flex a little with a hard swallow. He nodded. "Yah..." he whispered in return. "This is what I want."

I leaned down further, enjoying the upper-body strength I had now that Aaden had me exercising regularly, until my mouth was a centimeter away from his, then close the gap, softly. He tensed underneath me, then eased back into Aaden's grip, his mouth opening under mine, our lips pressing together.

Alexi suddenly showed his intense hunger; with barely a pause he began kissing my chin, my throat. He worked his way down my chest; it was all I could do to hold myself up and let him, watching him attack me with an animal passion that I've rarely seen in the usually reserved Tindals. Then again, he was my kid, and anybody growing up around here learns about animal passion pretty early.

I felt his lips slide across my skin, his warm breath spreading across in me like a mystical infusion. A strange image came into my mind, one of watching a mechanical difference engine in operation recently, and of watching the entire body of tumblers roll over at once. Because I felt something like that happen inside me as he kissed me, as if all possibility that I might question this was banished forever. I pushed his head away gently, my eyes searching his face, a face now alight with wonder. He smiled suddenly and shifted.

I laughed. "Something poking you in the back, Alexi?"

"Something like that," he said softly, squirming in Aaden's arms. He turned over to face Aaden. Aaden wasn't as gentle or as ambivalent as I was; he grabbed Alexi by the shoulders and pulled him close, kissing him hard. I felt my own erection growing under my clothes, watching them kiss.

Aaden must have spotted me adjusting myself because he turned to look at me and said, "Take them off. You're not going to need them anyway."

"Only if he takes off the bathrobe." Alexi agreed, struggling out of his one article of clothing, so I pulled at the knot holding my pants closed, freeing it and removing my clothes as well. As I pulled them off, I suddenly realized where my last little tug of ambivalence was coming from. Not from Alexi, but from Aaden. "Aaden, lover, this is going to sound strange, but I don't think I can do this, this way."

"Oh, no you don't," he chuckled. "You're not backing out of this one."

"That's not it," I said resolvedly. "You know I don't work well with more than two people. I want him myself."

"Wait a minute," Alexi said with all the objection a sixteen-year-old can muster. "This is my deflowering, I think I get to say what happens!" I watched Aaden's jaw drop as much as I felt my own. "I want both you to be here. That's what I asked for. Dad, Va... please?"

I recovered enough to laugh. Now naked, I leaned over Alexi and kissed his throat softly, then his jawline, then his lips, kissing him hotly, feeling his tongue on mine; he has a very soft, almost slick tongue, and as we wrestled I felt my erection returning to full force. I looked down at Alexi again and said "You'll get what you ask for."

He nodded as my hand slid down his body, finding his cock between his thighs. It wasn't particularly large; a little smaller than average, really, but one thing I'd learned over the years is that, no matter how much I love Aaden's huge shaft, I really can appreciate any size.

I stroked him slowly, watching his eyes flutter and hearing a hissing intake of breath as my fingernails scraped gently over the head. I slid down to between his legs quickly, taking the silky head of his cock in my lips in one smooth move. His hips bucked suddenly, shoving it deeper into my mouth, but I managed, slowly suckling him back and forth. His cock was fully hard, but like his tongue the skin was soft, flawless as my lips rode up and down on it easily. I reached underneath his buttocks with my right hand, where he was held up sitting in Aaden's lap, and tickled his anus. I didn't even press hard. He shuddered again, moaning loudly. I heard Aaden chuckle softly in sympathy.

Glancing up in the direction of the chuckle, I saw Aaden's fingers playing with Alexi's nipples softly, teasing them. Aaden was also nuzzling the back of Alexi's neck, his muzzle open and his teeth gleaming in the dim light.

I've been reading too much Bram Stoker recently. I shook my head and went back to suckling on Alexi's cock, tasting the little droplets of excitement that oozed from the tip when I sucked hard, toying with his balls gently.

I was easily managing all of Alexi's cock down my throat and enjoying the sensation. Overcoming my gag reflex had been one of those things Aaden and I had worked on rather extensively, especially since he has a penis that will gag just about anything, humanoid or not. I felt a paw on my head, Aaden's paw, and looked up.

Alexi's eyes were closed, and he had his left mitten in the air, clasped in Aaden's left hand. His right hand lay in his lap. I looked up at along Aaden's arm and into his eyes. "Stop," he mouthed wordlessly. "I think it's time you fucked him."

I cheated; flipping switches in my head, I contacted an AIcell nearby and called Aaden. Almost like telepathy. I want him to taste cock, first...

We can do both, Aaden replied. "Alexi," he spoke softly.


"Turn around." I detached myself from Alexi's cock and, as I pulled away, got a good look at it. There are utilitarian cocks, there are monster cocks, there are common cocks. Alexi's cock is a work of art; there's no way to describe it, really, other than to say that it has a profound... beauty that just sort of draws the eye. Aaden falls under the "monster" category, by the way. Alexi followed instructions as Aaden gave them, turning around and lying in Aaden's lap. "Now, suck me."

Alexi nodded and pushed himself further down Aaden's body, coming to rest with his head above Aaden's crotch. "Fah," Alexi swore softly. "I don't even know what I can do with this."

Aaden laughed softly. "Do the best you can."

Alexi nodded and leaned his head down, licking slowly along the length of Aaden's semi-hard shaft, making it glisten wetly. I watched, fascinated, as Alex worked his way up to the head, slowly tasting every square inch of Aaden's cock he could manage, reaching the tip and sliding around it wetly.

I smiled and knelt beside Alexi, easing my right leg over him and straddling his buttocks, looking down at his back, watching his head bob up and down slowly. I ran my fingers through the dense blue fur that ran along his back, feeling his muscles act and react to the demands of his body, feeling him shudder uncontrollably as Aaden's cock activated his gag reflex, enjoying the sensation of just riding Alexi, really. Riding my son.

I grabbed a bottle of lubricant and applied some to my fingers, pressing them between Alexi's warm asscheeks, probing for his asshole. He reacted to my finger by pressing up against me, opening himself up so I could reach him better. I smiled as I matted down his fur with the warmed fluid, sliding my fingers over his tight anus, feeling the puckered texture of the hole with the tip of one finger. I slid it into him.

He took it easily, settling down onto the bed between Aaden's legs as my finger slid deeper into the hot depths of his body. Happy with his response, and I slid my finger out and leaned over to kiss Aaden gently, then looked down. "Alexi?"

"Hmmm?" he said, his mouth quite full.

"Are you going to tell me 'no'?"

I realized after I said it that there had to be a dozen different ways his reply could be misinterpreted. Aaden's right-- we have smart kids. Alexi's raised his head to turn and look at me. A tear from the effort of suppressing his gag reflex was streaming down his fur and across his nose. He looked up at me and said "I won't tell you 'no.'"

I gave him a wide and open-mouthed smile, then leaned down to kiss him; he strained upwards to kiss me instead, pressing his lips and his tongue to my own. The heat between us grew as we kissed, then separated. "Thank you, son."

"Thank you, father," he replied, smiling back at me. He lay his head down in Aaden's lap, not sucking on Aaden's cock anymore but anticipating my next move.

I slowly slicked the lubricant over my cock and aimed it downwards, pressing it against his asshole gently. "A little lower," he whispered. I nodded and repositioned my shaft, pressing down against the top of it until it seemed to find the actual opening of his anus.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yes, father." I smiled and pressed down with a little more force. He slowly opened up and I felt him let me in, feeling his asshole spasm at the intrusion. He gasped hard, his muscles tightening. "It's too much... take it out, take it out, please."

I stopped and pulled out, letting him ease back against the bed. He took a deep breath and said "Give me a second."

"Take all the time you need," I said softly, my left hand caressing his back, my right hand stroking my cock. I was always afraid of hurting someone, and right now that fear threatened my erection.

"Okay," he nodded softly, "try again."

I knelt above him and again took careful aim, and this time I slid into him easily. This time he took me without complaint; he lay on the bed softly and sighed, rubbing his cheek against Aaden's massive cock and smiling. "Like that?" I asked.

"I feel so full," he said softly. "It feels... strange."

"Does it hurt?" Aaden asked him softly.

"A little. It's kinda burning at the hole, but that's going away. It's deep inside, though... Dad, how do you take Va's cock like this? It so huge!" He leaned over forward kissed Aaden's shaft.

"It takes practice," I said, starting to stroke within him. My gods, he was tight. "You get used to it."

"Uh-huh," he said softly as I started to fuck him, slowly at first. He buried his head in Aaden's lap, completely blocking the light from his eyes. Aaden grabbed his own cock and started stroking it slowly, making it grow to full length. I looked down at Alexi's vulnerable body, looking down further and watching my cock slide between his furred asscheeks and deeper into him. He looked so beautiful like this, so soft and wonderful, trembling under me as I fucked him.

As my orgasm grew closer I started to fuck him harder; his furred body beneath responded equally, pushing back against my invading cock. For someone who'd never been done this before, my own son was one incredible fuck. "Please," he whimpered, reaching back behind himself with one trembling ten to touch me, "slower... please."

"Okay..." I breathed, slowing down for him, slowly stroking his asshole with my cock, feeling his body clench and spasm underneath. "Alexi," I whispered, "I'm going to come..."

"Yes, Dad, please... come inside me. Please please please..." I nodded as he gave his final permission to me, feeling the last impediment to orgasm crumble away and the sudden rush of pleasure overtake me. I shoved downwards one last time and came inside him, groaning loudly; I heard Alexi scream with me. I caught myself with my arms and managed to keep from dropping my full weight on top of him.

There was still motion on the bed; Aaden was still masturbating, but with an almost immediate shout he came as well, collapsing against the headboard.

After a few seconds of this, the three of us catching our breaths, I pushed myself awkwardly to my left, falling back onto the bed with a groan, my cock slipping out of Alexi. I lay on my back with my eyes closed.


I opened my eyes slowly and turned. Alexi raised his head from where he lay in Aaden's lap and looked at me, smiling. "Yeah, Alexi?"

"I love you, Dad. Thank you."

I blinked, smiled. "Oh, Alexi... you're so welcome. You're so, so welcome." I found the strength to move, leaning over Aaden's thigh to kiss him gently. Then I collapsed on the bed again.

Aaden laughed gently, and I heard the soft and familiar flutter of cloth; Aaden had picked up a towel to wipe himself off with. "So, Alexi," he said, "What do you think?"

Alexi picked up himself up and crawled forward, laying his head against Aaden's shoulder and wrapping his tens around his chest. "Well, Va, I understand why you two like it."

I laughed softly and cuddled up close to Aaden on the other side. "Which part?"

"All of it!" he said, laughing. "Well, okay, being fucked... will probably take some getting used to. Sucking cock... Oh, I like that. I can do that."

I laughed softly and reached out to play with Alexi's hair. "I hear a 'but' in your voice, Alexi."

"Yah," he said. "Although I can do this, and physically I think it's really wonderful... you know how we were talking yesterday about the, well, spiritual differences?"

"Yeah," I said softly. "You feel the difference, and you think you're more comfortable with male/female difference instead?"

He nodded gently. "I'm sorry."

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, that's nothing to be sorry for! Alexi, look at me." He opened his eyes. "What you like and what you don't like is nothing to be sorry for, believe me."

He nodded. "I know... but you two..."

"Alexi," Aaden said. "I've never felt the male/female thing, because I've never really had sex with a woman. I know I'm happy the way I am."

Alexi nodded. "I know."

I crawled closer to Alexi and kissed him softly. "Alexi, you're my son, and I love you. I'm not upset with what you did tonight, or what you said." He smiled. "Do you want to sleep with us tonight?"

He swallowed and nodded, smiling. "I love you, both of you, so much. Now I know what you two mean about your love; now I know what it's like to have sex the way you two do."

"But it's not for you," Aaden said softly.

He shook his head. "But I'm glad you're not angry."

"I could never be angry at you for that." Aaden eased Alexi out of his lap and onto the bed. "You came to us and wanted to learn something, and we were willing to give it to you."

"I know."

I cuddled Alexi close, feeling my body against his. "Do you want to come, Alexi?"

"He did," Aaden replied. "You were a too little busy to notice, Ken, but there's definitely a puddle here."

"You came when I was fucking you?"

"Uh-huh," Alexi replied. "I did say it felt good."

"Wow, son. I'm jealous. It took me decades to learn how to come from being fucked. Maybe you can find a fem who'll give that to you once in a while."

Alexi's eyes misted over for a second. "That would be the best of all possible worlds."

Aaden laughed, wiping at the bedsheets and tossing the towel aside. "I'm tired."

"You are?" I asked.

"Of course," Aaden replied. "Wouldn't you be?"

"It's early."

"I'm tired too," Alexi said softly.

"I would expect that," I replied. "You just got put through a lot."

"Yah," Alexi said softly. "You don't have to stay, Dad. If you can't sleep..."

"I'll stay with him," Aaden said gently. "I want to."

I nodded and slowly separated from the two of them, climbing out of bed and standing up. I pulled the covers over the both of them, kissed them on their cheeks, grabbed my bathrobe that Alexi had tossed aside and put it on, ascending to the living room. The lights dimmed completely behind me.

I sat down on the couch and picked up Dracula again, finding my page marker and resuming reading. With a casual thought the entire northern wall became transparent. I looked up at the stars, wondering again which one was Terra but not wondering so much as to ask Dave to superimpose an indicator over my vision.

I smiled up at the stars. "You don't own me," I whispered, "And you never did." Then I returned to the book. "And you, you mythical thing--" I stopped and laughed quietly. "Burned blood indeed."

After about three hours, I put the book aside and headed down to bed. Aaden and Alexi, father and son, still entwined with one another, cuddled close. I smiled and joined them, falling asleep almost immediately.