The Journal Entries

Sunlight streamed through my closed eyelids as I returned slowly to wakefulness. I turned over slowly onto my back and stretched, feeling the well-worn linen sheets shifting against my legs as I did so.

A sound caught my attention, making me open my eyes for the first time today, Felinzi purring off to my right. Perry. I eased back and closed my eyes again, smiling and remembering our encounter last night. I sat up in the sunlit bedroom, carefully easing my legs over the side of the bed and standing up, making my way out the door and down the hallway to the kitchen.

The smell of cooking breakfast steak apparently caught her feral nose. The sight of her walking down the hallway, licking at her muzzle and desperately trying to get her night-ruffled fur under control made me giggle.

"Good morning, Perry," I said cheerfully, dropping my pan aside to give her a hug. "Sleep good?"

Perry finally looked up at me, her greenish eyes clearing rapidly. "Very," she said. "It's been a long time since I slept next to anyone. It felt wonderful."

"I'm glad," I said, kissing the side of her nose softly. "It's been a long time for me, too."

"Are you cooking breakfast for me?"

"Of course! One thing I learned from my parents. A good host always cooks breakfast. That's even more important than cooking dinner." I slid the pan of eggs off the burner and turned the heat down. She watched attentively as I dropped them onto a plate and then retrieved her steak from the oven. As I added it to her plate, she suddenly turned me around and hugged me tightly, pushing me towards the breakfast table. "Perea!"

"Hmmm?"

"Your breakfast will get cold," I said, protesting not too strenuously.

She growled softly, lustfully as she guided me down onto the tabletop, holding me with one hand to the small of back until I was lying flat. "What I want for breakfast will never get cold."

I laughed as she nudged her way between my legs, sitting down at the table and running her slightly unsheathed claws through the fur of my legs. "If this is breakfast," I murmured to the ceiling, "Maybe we should have it in bed."

"We could have had it in bed, but you abandoned me, Private."

"Last night you said you were tire-- Oh, Perea..." She pressed her hot muzzle up to my mound, her tongue flicking out and invading my privacy. So fitting for a soldier, the insurgency with which she approach my clitoris. "Gods, Perry, slow down!

The soft purring noise she seemed to make even more consistently than Ember ever had migrated up from her chest to her throat, emerging as a soft and constant growling sound. "That's it," I sighed, running my mitts over her head and playing with her ears, "that's perfect." I could feel the moisture of her tongue mixing with my own, the feel of her cool nose pressing against the hood of my clit as she tongued my hole, tasting the juices that I could feel between my legs, or so I imagined.

She retreated even further, finally just barely kissing my cunt, her licks softly raining down over my exposed and needful clitoris without pause of pressure. "Perry," I whimpered.

She chuckled then, a soft and feminine sound, almost out of keeping with her body and profession. She started to lick me harder, faster, and the little shocks of pleasure from every flicker of her roughly-textured and gently-driven tongue pooled in my belly like fire coming to life. "Oh, Perry," I gasped softly, "How do you do this to me?"

She didn't answer, but instead reached up and, with claws again slightly unsheathed, scratched her way down my sides, driving me mad with lust. "Gods, Perry, let me come already!"

"I'm not stopping you," she said innocently, her parted muzzle kneading my vulva and her tongue parting my labia to lick at my core, my entrance, my clit. I moaned as she licked more directly, slashing at my clitoris. My body tensed as my mind floated away at her insistent kisses and licks. "P...Perry!" I gasped, coming against her face, feeling her bury her muzzle again between my blood-thickened lips and her tongue racing achingly against my clitoris.

We lay there, my mitts grasping her ears, her muzzle deep between my thighs, locked together like some unmoving tableaux. Finally she leaned back and let me sit up. I looked down at her, her muzzle wet with our fluids, and laughed. She looked up at me with that sparkle in her eye that only now she allowed me to see. I slid off the table into her lap and held her, thanking her.

"You're welcome," she replied to my whispered blessings. She laughed and leaned back in her chair, looking up at me. "I love you," she said with both awkwardness and sadness.

"Are you sure that's something you want to say right now?"

Perry looked away. "I need someone to say it to."

"And I'm it?" I asked, pulling away slightly. "That's what all this is about?"

She shook her head. "That's not what it's all about, but that's a good part of it. Rainy, do you know what a 'biological clock' is?"

"I hope so. My dad's a geneticist and mom's a doctor," I said. "It's either the rhythmic cycle of hormonal release in an adult body, or the triggering of some biological process by a progressively regenerative or degenerative condition."

"I mean, do you think someone could have a biological clock set for when they want to have children?"

"Oh, that. I don't know. Some fems say they have them, times when they have to have kids. My friend Rachel says she's unhappy if she's not pregnant at least once every decade. Mom, on the other hand, thought she had gotten her maternity days out of the way two centuries ago. I'm glad she changed her mind."

"I am too," Perry said. "Do you ever feel it yourself?"

"What, me want to have kids?" I smiled. "Nah, not yet."

"I do," Perry admitted. "I'm not suggesting anything. I just want you to know why I feel so... open, suddenly. Especially with you."

"Are you looking for a partner to have them with? I mean, I can't right now, you know that... I'm going to go into PAS training in a couple of weeks."

She nodded. "I know it sounds stupid, but yeah, I am. You're just the person I've been most attracted to in the past couple of years. I'm willing to wait a while, but I've decided I want to start looking now. I really want to have children."

"Why don't you just find someone and have them yourself?"

"Rainy, look at me! I don't even menstruate anymore. My body is so neutered because of what I do, what I love, that I can't have children."

"We can change that," I said, looking her over. She was right. And I knew that part of the reason for her lack of menstruation was that her lack of bodyfat prevented her from harboring the cyclic hormones that triggered the start of her period. Like I said; Mom was a doctor.

"But I don't want to."

"If you want your own children, you're going to have to," I said softly. "If you want to be a soldier for the rest of your life, for the centuries you've got ahead of you, that's fine. But if you want children, Perry, you're going to have to shut down some of your habits. You're going to have to let some spread take over your life."

She smiled. "Sounds terrible."

"It should frighten you," I said, leaning back into her and holding her close. "Nobody ever changes easily. Nothing ever comes without a price."

She chuckled. "I know."

We were quiet for a few seconds. "My breakfast is probably frozen by now."

"That's what microwaves are for."

"Ugh," she said softly. "Microwaved eggs."

"Aw, they're sunny-side down on biscuits. You won't even notice."

She laughed. "Okay, I'll take your word for it."