The Journal Entries

Anar, Sulim 20, 00265

Post Partum Depression In The Male Of The Species

I smiled wanly as I looked down into the nursery and wondered how I had gotten here, looking down on the two tiny blue shapes sleeping soundly in their nestled cribs. I straightened up, feeling my back complain a little bit as I stood, and made my way back to the kitchen.

Inside, I found P'nyssa quietly peeling carrots and setting aside some sour cream. "Hi," I said, reaching around and giving the mother of my children a gentle squeeze.

"Hello, sexy," she smiled, leaning back to press herself against me and kiss my cheek. "How are the babies?"

"Sleeping, finally. You know, I think we've gotten them to realize that they can't keep Mommy and Daddy awake all night."

"They have been trying," she said, turning her attention back towards the carrots and her knife.

"Yes, they have." I released her, poured myself a glass of apple juice and sat down on the couch, feeling rather pleased with myself. I think in the four months since they'd been born I'd made a good parent of myself. Richard and Rainy's teeth were coming in now, and they were both crying a lot. Simply everyone in the castle wanted to babysit them. P'nyssa's figure was almost completely back to her prepartum shape except for a small hint of fat about her hips that I found very pleasing to look at, and of course her still oversize breasts. Not, mind you, that I was objecting to her breasts being larger than usual.

I caught myself staring at her breasts as she ran the knife vigorously over the vegetables. They wobbled back and forth within their cloth confines, and I remembered what they were for, and looked away, turning my attention back to something more appropriate, like multigenetic design integrations. I didn't even notice when she shut off the water, but the next time I looked up she was there, right in front of me, kneeling to put herself a little below my eye-level, staring at me. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong," I replied. "Why?"

"Because something is wrong. We haven't made love in nearly three months. I saw you staring at me just a minute ago, and suddenly you looked away. I'm a telepath, remember? You felt guilty, Ken. Why should feel guilt for looking at me?"

"I'm not..."

"Don't lie to your coimelin, Ken."

I laughed softly. The smile turned to a frown and I dropped the PADD on the coffee table with a loud clatter, not saying anything. "I don't know what it is, P'nyssa. Maybe my libido's on vacation."

"It's not that much on vacation," she said. "You and Ress were making a lot of noise a couple of days ago."

I rolled my eyes. Telepaths! We were silent for a second, and I'm sure she heard me curse that, even silently. "I love you, Nyss. You know that."

"I never questioned it for a second, Ken. I want to know why we aren't having sex."

I grinned. "Never though you'd be the one to complain about that in this relationship."

"Just because I don't have your sex drive doesn't mean I have no sex drive, Ken. I love sex, and I love sex most when I'm with you. If it were just love, I'd be satisfied the way we are now. If it were just sex, I could go find Nance. I want you, Ken, the mel who cares for me more than any other, the man who's father to my children, to show me he loves me."

We were silent again, then she continued, "It's the children, isn't it?"

"No, it's not the children, you know that."

"They get in our way, they wake at the most inopportune moments, and changing diapers isn't very sexy. They're wearing us down in ways you've never encountered before, and you're getting tired of it."

"That might be it," I replied, feeling in my bones just how completely weary I truly was. Not that I didn't love my son and daughter, just that living with them was an exhaustive affair.

P'nyssa smiled and sat beside me on the couch, on my left side. "That's only half of it."

"So, what's the other half?" I asked.



"Yes, me. I asked Dr. Raulie yesterday about our situation, and he said it's not at all uncommon for mels to suddenly lose their libidos after the birth of a child." She paused for a second. "The usual suspects are motherhood and virginity."

"Virginity?" I asked. "What has that got to do with it? Motherhood is the last subject I'd equate with virginity."

"But that's just it," P'nyssa said calmly. "Because you watched me give birth, Raulie said you may have lost interest in my cunt, because any vestige, subconscious belief that I might be a virgin is gone from your mind."

"Sounds like psychiatric mumbo-jumbo, coming from Raulie."

"That's what I thought. The other answer is much more plausible, and fits with the way you've been feeling recently."

"And that is?"

"That you view me as a mother, and mother's aren't supposed to have sex. When you were staring at my teats, what did you think about?"

"I thought about how big they were... and why they were big... and what they were suppos..."

"Supposed to be for?" she asked, smiling. "Hands off, they're for the babies?"

"Something like that," I said, shaking my head and smiling simultaneously.

She stood up and reached down a mitten towards me. I took it and she helped me to my feet. "Where are we going?"

"I've been making some changes to the bedroom. Come down with me; I want to talk to you in private. Dave, you have your instructions."

"I do, Miss Traken."

She led me downstairs to the bedroom and through that into the bathroom. She opened the shower door and led me inside. "Take off your clothes and hand them to me," she said.

I sighed softly and did as she asked. "Now get the shower started, set to the temperature you like. I'll join you in a second."

I sighed and dialed the temperature up quite high; I had once almost scalded myself with the intense temperatures I enjoyed. A few minutes passed and the shower door opened. I turned.

And my jaw fell to the floor. P'nyssa was wearing a soaking wet one-piece cut of silk lingerie, bright white but for the fact that it was soaking wet and her dark-blue fur was showing through. Her breasts were still confined within her outfit, but they were pushed up by an underwire bra that was part of the lingerie. She smiled. "Do you like it?"

"You have to ask?" I replied, crossing the stall to grab her in my arms and embrace her. "You look incredible!"

She smiled. "Thanks. I put a lot of work into it." I felt her hands slide down my wet back, along my spine until they reached my ass. She squeezed my cheeks, her hands playfully searching their way between them to play with my anus. My cock swelled from the attention she was giving me.

I reached up for the straps at her shoulders and she nodded. I tugged at them and pulled them away and downward. She released my ass long enough for the straps to fall all the way off her tentacles and I knelt to pull them the rest of the way off, my hands trembling a little in my urgency. As I pulled the one-piece down, I stared at her crotch as it was exposed, and I was surprised to see white, not blue, fur. "You bleached your pubic fur white?" I asked her, looking up.

She smiled. "It goes with my eyes." Her eyes are a solid, pale yellow, with white rings of fur surrounding them. It's one of the more unusual fur patterns found in Tindals.

"That it does!" I agreed, dropping the silk to the shower floor and burying my face in her crotch, licking at her outer lips. She laughed, then cooed softly as my tongue slid between her labia and ran over her clitoris. "Oh, Ken..."

"Like that?" I asked. She nodded. "Then sit down," I said softly. She did as I instructed, sitting down on the tiled bench that ran the length of one wall of the shower. I knelt on the floor between her legs and spread them apart. She sighed softly as I lowered my head to her cunt, sliding my tongue between her lips again to taste her clitoris and her juices.

I realized how much I'd missed this, and so did my cock as it surged to full hardness. I tongued slowly at that small hole, the hole the two children sleeping the next room had come down, and tasted the sweet muskiness that was P'nyssa, the love of my life. She moaned in response to my licking as I slid my tongue back up against and around her clit, circling it with increasing pressure. She squirmed and leaned back against the wall of the shower. I looked up at her and said "How's that?"

"It's as good as I remember," she sighed.

The wording stung me a little, and I smiled. "Fair enough," I replied, standing up slowly, so I could reach her breasts. "These have gotten pretty large since the children were born."

She grinned. "They're for the children."

"You know better than that," I laughed, leaning over and licking playfully at a nipple.

"So should you," she sighed as I closed my mouth around one and tasted the heavy, creamy milk that squirted from her nipple when I sucked down. It's incredibly sweet, almost cloyingly sugared. She squirmed again and I ran my hand up between her thighs and played with her now-prominent clitoris with my fingertips. "I have a confession," she sighed softly. Her body shuddered momentarily.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled as I suckled softly.

"I've come when the children are nursing," she managed to say around a soft moan.

I backed away from her nipple, my stomach already preparing to complain about the richness of the food I was taking in. "Really?"

"Really," she replied. "Sometimes the feeling of their sucking just makes me so excited, I have to masturbate."

"Have to?" I asked, giving her a suspicious eye.

"It wouldn't be quite so bad if you'd pay more attention to me," she chided, the smile on her face belying the potential cruelty of her words. "I see you get excited thinking about it," she laughed, her mitten reaching down and stroking my testicles and up along my cock.

"Just a little," I sighed as her mitten gripped my cock tightly. She reached for the soap bottle with her other tentacle and squirted some along my cock, making the friction slick and warm. "Gods, Nyss..."

"I've always known what you liked, Ken," she smiled, now reaching up for the showerhead and, after lowering the temperature below scalding she rinsed my cock off. Then she closed her lips around it.

I hissed loudly, feeling her tongue and throat close around my cock. "P'nyssa!" I gasped. Of all the people I've slept with, she's always had one of the softest, most wonderful mouths. She slowly stroked my cock with her mouth, sliding into the back of her throat and then to the tip, her tongue swirling around the head and making my body go tense with the overwhelming sensation.

She let go of my cock and stood up, taking it in her hand instead. We stood face-to-face and she kissed me softly; the heat I felt from her was incredible, inspirational as I kissed her back fiercely and powerfully. My hands, almost of their own will, find her breasts and wrapped my fingers around them, feeling them, their heft and weight. "Have I got you inspired enough?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," I replied.

"Want to fuck me?" she giggled, looking up into my face.


She turned around and stepped back against me, grinding her butt against my crotch. "Come down with me, then," she said as she reached back to grab my hips and slowly began lowering herself to the shower floor. She reached her knees and bent her body over the bench, pressing her breasts to the tiled surface she had been warming as she sat. "Now get inside me," she whispered.

I knelt between her parted legs and aimed my cock at her. I pressed forward. "Little lower," she said.

I grinned. "Aww, I can't..."

"Not today, Ken," she smiled back at me over her shoulder. "That's where it goes," she sighed as I pressed the head against her cunt and slid into her slick cunt easily. "Just like that."

I slid all the way into her, my hips pressed up against her ass, my hands on her waist. "I love you, P'nyssa."

"It feels so good," she sighed. "Fuck me, Ken, please." I began stroking into her, hard; she would push back with every thrust, and we began making love passionately and easily. It had been a long time for both of us since we had made love with each other, and her cunt felt tight and hot to me, different than anyone else and so wonderfully familiar.

I felt the heat of the shower filling me, the steam collecting in water droplets. I looked down to see my pale shaft disappearing between her dark blue buttocks, slipping into her body; I slowed down to appreciate the sensation of her lips gliding along my cock. My body tensed more and more as she gasped and stroked back against my hips with every stroke. I could feel my orgasm coming onto me, and when I came her name echoed through the tiled shower, "P'nyssa!"

I slipped out of her and sat back onto the floor, pulling her back and settling her down next to me. She wrapped her tens around me tightly and held me closely. "Thank you," she whispered.

I smiled and reached out to play with her nipples; a small trickle of milk slid over my finger. "Why thank me?"

"Because I thought you might never love me again like that."

"Oh, Nyss, I could never not love you."

"I mean like that," she said, still catching her breath. "It feels so good when you fuck me like that, Ken. It's been so long since you did, and I needed it so much."

"I'm glad I could give it. I think I can give it again, if you like." I looked down and saw that my erection was still standing strong.

"I don't think I'm ready for another," she said. "Let's just get cleaned up." She smiled at me, her dazzling eyes and smile entranced me. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I replied. "Don't move yet," I said, leaning over and taking her left nipple in my mouth, sucking down and tasting her milk. She cooed and sighed and said "Maybe I can take one more."

I laughed as she laid down onto the padded floor of the shower and spread her legs. "Come on, give me one more." I smiled and knelt between her thighs, sliding my cock into her and stroking her, looking down into her eyes and watching her face. She reached back to grab my butt as I fucked her there on the shower floor. As we made love, I could feel my orgasm peaking, then fading away, then peaking again. "P'nyssa..." I sighed. "I don't think I'm going to come again."

"Then don't fight it," she said. "I'm getting worn out."

I laughed and leaned down to kiss her as my erection slipped out of her. "I love you," I said.

"Let's get clean, finally," she smiled. I nodded and helped her to her feet. "Woah," she said, "You've worn me out."

"Impossible," I smiled, looking over the most important person in my life. "You'll be perfectly ready tomorrow."

"I hope so," she laughed, picking up the soap. "So, let's see what cleaning you need."

I smiled and kissed her furry cheek. She winked back. "Do you like the way I dyed my fur?" she asked, looking down at the visible, white triangle.

"I love it. I love you, P'nyssa." She laughed, and I kissed her smile.