The Journal Entries

M'Ress, and I, out on the plain. I'm always so surprised at just how far we are from the rest of the Universe, from any other sentient being. Abornia plain, as we have named it, is a mere sector away from The Camp, again, as we have named it. That is still a distance farther than man has ever been from his home planet. Did I just write that? I am still human; I'd hate to start thinking of myself otherwise.

And watching her move, just move, is one of the most pleasant experiences I can think of; her thin, yet well-built figure, with it's thick golden fur and expressive tail are proof to me that I did a good job with her and her folk. And I never, ever thought that the Domesticus muzzle could convey so much emotion. I still haven't decided if digitigrade was a good decision for a humanoid form.

"You'rre a verry lonely perrson, arren't you?" she asked, looking at me. She had stretched out on the ratty old blanket I had brought.

I looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

She replied with another question. "When was the last time you had sex?"

"Huh? Uhm..." Ohmigod. Never? No, that's not the right answer... "Not yet, not on Pendor."

She smiled an ironic smile, as if expecting that. "Why not?"

"M'Ress..." This conversation was making me very uncomfortable.

She suddenly got very angry, as if her Felinzi nature just flared behind her eyes, and she was almost threatening. "Look, you..." and just as quickly it sloughed off. "Ken, remember what you told us? All the little tales and stories about how we should live our own lives, do our own things? Remember? About how you told us we should love who we wanted to, as we would? What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked, a little confused.

"Do you love anybody? You never let anybody get close to you, except maybe Carroll, and she's, well..."

"She's a Centaur..."

"And you think you're incompatible. I read some of the entries on her, you know. I know what goes on in your mind when you see her. Sometimes I think my father is the most screwed-up person on the Ring, and that may well be true."

I grimaced at her use of the word 'father,' and she caught it. "Look, Ken... We call you that out of respect. I personally would hate to refer to you as my engineer. If you didn't put a better word into our pre-programmed vocabularies, that's, well... that's the way it is. It doesn't reduce how we feel about you."

I looked at her, a little shocked at her forwardness. A little pleased, too, to see her asserting herself. And a little confused at where this conversation was going. "And how do you feel about me?" I asked, curious.

"I love you, damnit! Isn't that what I'm trying to say? There are so damned many people out here who are trying to get to know you, but a lot of them are obsequious bastards, and you know it and I know it. The people you collect around you, you must have a reason for it." I do? "And some of us are... curious. About you... about how you make love."

"Like who?" I said, not quite sure I was hearing this.

"Like Raine, Irene, Chazelle, Annie. Like Leara, M'lees, Chelsea. Like, even..." and her eyes were watching her fingers playing with a blade of grass under the hot sky, and I could only see her in profile, but her eyes flickered and a smile threatened, as if she was unsure of what emotion she should feel, and her voice dropped down to a murmur, "me?"

"You?"

"Yeah, Me" she said angrily. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, nothing at all, it's just..." Just what? Why hadn't I made love to any of my creations? Incestuous avoidance? What? Personal involvement? Avoiding a sense of favoritism? Separation? What?

"What?" she asked, aloud.

"M'Ress..." I said. I reached for her and she first recoiled in surprise, but when she realized that yes, this was what we wanted, she returned my lust and her muzzle licked my mouth and her tongue came out and attacked mine, and we began to roll on the grass, our bodies melting to each other. Had it really been ten years or so?

I stopped and looked down at her feline face, her slitted eyes, her panting breath, her sharp teeth. Oh, gods, there were reasons why I shouldn't do this, but she was so beautiful and she wanted me. The trims of her muzzle crested up in a glorious Felinzi smile, and I returned it. I fell to her, hugging her and holding her to me. We rolled over again and she was on top once more, and her paws swung and stripped off my clothing, exposing me to her. My cock was erect, hard and needful, and now it would not be denied. Her fingers stroked my sex and if it was possible, I got harder.

"M'Ress... please..." I pushed her over, onto her back, and I slid down her body, my arms taking her open by the knees, my mouth seeking out her cunt. I opened her with my tongue, licking her and wetting her. Her cunt was moist and wet and I was opening her further.

"Ken, now... I want your cock inside me, now." I needed no other urging. I virtually leapt onto her, and I slid into her wetness, her tight cunt. Oh, gods, she was so wonderful! I felt her soft fur against me as I lay on top of her, my hips pounding her, her claws against my back. Her taut legs were wrapped around my hips, and she was yowling in pleasure, her breath gasping with every thrust.

I pounded her for all I was worth, and she chanted me on, "yes, yes, yes..." I kept on fucking her, taking out in her all my lust and frustration, pent up, and more, faster, and then I came, firing my seed into her softness.

I collapsed upon her, my breath coming in hoarse gasps, and she, too, was breathing hard. We lay there, and I rolled aside so she wouldn't have to support my weight, and recovered. "Whew," she breathed. "And I thought Felinzi males were serious. Must be all the red meat you eat."

I grinned. "Oh, and what made you so hot and bothered?"

She looked at me. "I don't know, something about you, some mystique you have, at being father and all."

I looked at her, and rather than be angry, I smiled, laughed. Okay, I thought, I've taken a fated step and joined my children in their worldly play. I'd consider the ramifications later.